Disclosure?

I've been around awhile now and while I read as much as I can there is a couple things I have great confusion about. 1. Is the "TALK". shouldn't this have been done right away after D Day? How do you handle your emotions while having this talk? And how much do you really want to know? 2. WH will only answer the questions he wants to answer? Ok so currently my WH is not wanting to talk about it because of the way it makes him feel. He went to IC and we are doing MC. He finally is reading the book After the Affair. He says he is sorry but it's not enough. He is real good at making sure I know where he is at all times. (Oh it has also been 1 1/2 years since D Day.) I still have many questions and I am stuck in this stage 1 without the answers. I do not feel as if I can make up my mind about staying, going, getting even or what the consequences are going to be. We are working as if in R but I can't trust him in ways I want too. I can't let it go as he would like me too. His attitude is, "It happened I'm sorry I was wrong let's move forward and put it behind us." Hello I don't see it not happening again with that kind of reasoning. Anyone else with me on this or am I being stubborn by not letting it go? He has put all his time and energy into the business. Which is right now about to expand into a building of it's own. When he does take time for me, us I feel as if is a privilege he is granting me. He falls into bed every night exhausted. So we are up at 5:30 and going until 9 PM at 10 we are snoring. Sex is ok he says he wants it 3 to 4 times a week he's lucky if he can handle it once which is not at all what I want and even then afterwards he rolls over and is asleep leaving me up for hours. Does any of this sound healthy to you. Need some ideas of something. I am suffering from panic disorder so bad I have problems leaving the house at all or concentrating on my work. Besides my mind is all over the place too. Thank you for any feedback I'm stuck. I want to push but how hard do I push? Should I go see the OW I wanted to give her something anyways still sitting in my car. Oh yeah he wants to get married again. In a church a real one. Hello I lost my faith and we had our marriage blessed by God once why in heck would I want to to it again. Thank you

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