| hello all I was previously all4her I am now back with an sn of my two dogs names combined! To recap in extreme summary my ex = a huge huge **** and liar and irresponsible. post-breakup She ended up trolling for anonymous sex, I flipped and tried to end it all. So I am back a month later almost to the day and things are going fantastic!!! I have gone completely dark on her, changed all sns, even changed my long standing email address and just dealt with the info I would lose--Worth it. changed phone, blocked her on all media sources or made myself untraceable. So after I got out of the hospital I had a new take on life, gtting stripped of your shoe laces from public services bc they are afraid you will strangle yourself with them can give u a whole new perspective on things. I got out to receive a rude email from my ex who bailed while I was in there on helping with my dogs. the email said, when u get out we need to talk about a 7.95 charge on my bank account. Her family is worth an est 10 million. Yeah, so that was the last straw, 8 dollars should be my concern when I got out of hell on earth? I was doing well at my aunts when I found out I lost my job. The job said they adored me but being gone that week from the attempt and being gone a week before that with breakup drama wasn't good for the kid I worked for--understandable, but it broke me down a lot. I loved the kid and my job and it paid well. now I was officially in LA with absolutely nothing and no one. It was hard.... The only blessing I had was that id gone dark on my ex so I knew she wouldn't come around and make me feel even worse. BUT ok I got out of the hospital Feb 13th--obviously day before valentines day---and later when I viewed my ex's twitter page (by accident I was searching for my name on google and found a link on twitter, turned out it was from her a while ago) I saw that she had posted romantic lyrics to a new beau, on the day before vday--the day I got out of the hospital--the day she emailed me *****y about 8 bucks. The extent of her cruelty amazed me. In a way it was freeing, how could I NOT see how much of a terrible human she was?:scratchhead: it was right there in bold flaming letters. It helped me to be free of ANY doubt I had or ANY guilt I had about ending things. I only felt lucky to be rid of it all :smthumbup: I got and read books on boundaries. Ive joined a gym, lost 10 lbs thus far, I look and feel better than I have in years. The amount of ENERGY I have is UNREAL. I thought it was the hep c killing me and making me exhausted all the time--then I realized it was her energy sucking presence. I realized how much she truly sucks the energy of the other person. I also used to have VERY hard time going to places like the bank or post office or things like that--and I thought it was autism but now I can do them and enjoy them--and again realized it was the added stress she always brought--she was a bundle of repressed angry nerves and always transferred itself to me. Rather I let it, I ate up all her negative emotions bc I had no boundaries I got a roommate who is a successful emerging actress dating an A-list star ( I WISH I Could say who!!! I cant tho) and I see how a hard working aspiring actress really works. A hard working woman around is so amazing. The apartment is always clean (we both keep clean) and full of life and energy. I realized how sad it was that I got so used to a woman who sits on her laptop all day, who hasn't showered in weeks, who leaves the place filthy and littered with trash, and then complains to me she has too much on her plate. I started to think it was just the norm. I got a new job at a management company in a really great area of town near an artisian market so im very excited! :lol: Ive been keeping busy unemployed by painting daily, hiking in the mountains at least 2 hours with my dog, and working out. :( Bad news = I didn't get into the two grad mfa programs I applied to this round but my previous university (where I went to get my post-bacc in art) was genuinely surprised and are trying to work out giving me a tuition free semester back at their school so I can go and work on my apps closely with them. Which is unheard of. To be honest I would be thrilled at another shot, I didn't get as much out of the program as I wanted bc my ex was in the program as well and would get...possessive and jealous and often either demanded we leave early or would come into my studio and complain about her lack of progress and bitterly comment on my actual progress. UGH UGH UGH. I had NO SPINE GUYS. Makes me sick. and today I got news that I received a national feature of my artwork from a NYC organization of the arts. More bad news: my ex seems to be trolling my neighborhood, either she moved nearby or is just constantly driving over here, either way its unappreciated and I cant wait to move. in a city of 8 million people I should not be running into her 3x per month. In general, I feel like I have a new lease on life. I can move ANYWHERE and not have to worry about her guilt, about supporting her, about ANY OF HER DRAMA. I can go to grad school and spend hours in my studio and have no one being bitter and angry--not have to come home to a trashed out home and an eye brow-less unshowered slob sitting in her PJs at 5pm with a pile of old food around her. When I clean. The apartment stays CLEAN. Cleanliness....you never really appreciate it as you should, u never realize how much it makes life brighter. More importantly not having to clean up someone elses careless mess. It's soul lifting. | |||
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