I'm new here, and registered to the site specifically to share this. I'm looking for any advice, obviously, and hope to find some clarity.
I've been married to a wonderful, beautiful woman for 15 years. Together we've had three children, and from almost the time we met, until the last few years, sex has been incredible. When we were dating/engaged, we could only see each other for a few days/nights a week due to living almost an hour apart.
But when we got together, we had fun, laughed, enjoyed each other's company and sex was INCREDIBLE. Two/three times a night when we were together. As we aged and had children and had to deal with real life, it dropped off a bit. And that's not a problem with me, I mean, who can keep up that kind of pace forever?
Fast forward to the last few years. If we have sex, I initiate it almost 100% of the time. I used to work from home, as she continues to do, so we had plenty of time to sneak off for a bit while the kids were at school and have a little fun together. But even then, I had to be the "aggressor" so to speak.
If she initiated things, it was a rarity. It was like hitting the lottery for me. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that turns me on more than having her want me.
She rarely turns me down, but still, I feel like she's placating me more than being really into it. Once we get going, she loves it from what I can tell. I've always been really generous with her, and tried to make sure she got foreplay, oral, and an orgasm before any actual sex occurred. That's not to say it was 100% of the time, but I'd say easily 80% of the time. (A quickie now and then was never out of the question, and they were used sparingly).
But lately, we can go a month or so between intimacy, and would probably go longer if it weren't for the fact that I get things started. From the day we became an item, I have told her how beautiful she is to me, how much she means to me and how she turns me on just by being her. It's not b.s., I truly mean that when I say it. I adore this woman. I kiss her, touch her, make innuendos, play and make her laugh as much as I can. There's nothing that makes me happier than to let her know she's wanted and desired.
YET, I can't get any of the same in return. I'm about ready to find me someone who can meet that specific need outside of our marriage at this point. It's frustrating as hell.
I've told her and discussed with her in the past how much it means to me to have her initiate intimacy, to want her to WANT me, not just to accept me. I don't want it to be a chore, or something she puts up with because she feels it's her "duty".
I'm at my wits' end here. Anyone have any advice? And if not, that's fine too. I appreciate the chance to vent.
I've been married to a wonderful, beautiful woman for 15 years. Together we've had three children, and from almost the time we met, until the last few years, sex has been incredible. When we were dating/engaged, we could only see each other for a few days/nights a week due to living almost an hour apart.
But when we got together, we had fun, laughed, enjoyed each other's company and sex was INCREDIBLE. Two/three times a night when we were together. As we aged and had children and had to deal with real life, it dropped off a bit. And that's not a problem with me, I mean, who can keep up that kind of pace forever?
Fast forward to the last few years. If we have sex, I initiate it almost 100% of the time. I used to work from home, as she continues to do, so we had plenty of time to sneak off for a bit while the kids were at school and have a little fun together. But even then, I had to be the "aggressor" so to speak.
If she initiated things, it was a rarity. It was like hitting the lottery for me. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that turns me on more than having her want me.
She rarely turns me down, but still, I feel like she's placating me more than being really into it. Once we get going, she loves it from what I can tell. I've always been really generous with her, and tried to make sure she got foreplay, oral, and an orgasm before any actual sex occurred. That's not to say it was 100% of the time, but I'd say easily 80% of the time. (A quickie now and then was never out of the question, and they were used sparingly).
But lately, we can go a month or so between intimacy, and would probably go longer if it weren't for the fact that I get things started. From the day we became an item, I have told her how beautiful she is to me, how much she means to me and how she turns me on just by being her. It's not b.s., I truly mean that when I say it. I adore this woman. I kiss her, touch her, make innuendos, play and make her laugh as much as I can. There's nothing that makes me happier than to let her know she's wanted and desired.
YET, I can't get any of the same in return. I'm about ready to find me someone who can meet that specific need outside of our marriage at this point. It's frustrating as hell.
I've told her and discussed with her in the past how much it means to me to have her initiate intimacy, to want her to WANT me, not just to accept me. I don't want it to be a chore, or something she puts up with because she feels it's her "duty".
I'm at my wits' end here. Anyone have any advice? And if not, that's fine too. I appreciate the chance to vent.
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