Dealing with my wife’s lust for ANOTHER man

A few years ago my wife became obsessed with following professional tennis. Her obsession was focused around one particular male tennis star. For whatever reason I remained blind to what was happening until this obsession started to affect our relationship and sex life directly. I finally checked out my wife's postings on the athlete's fan website and saw in my wife's own words how her fanatic devotion was based on her lust for him. I finally confronted her and told her that she must stop following this guy and that we needed to work on our marriage. She responded positively and though our marriage would vastly improve, she told me she needed to wean herself slowly off tennis (though it was clear "tennis" meant this one player). After 3 months I begged her to stop because it was wrong and it was tearing me up inside. She said she would. Several times over the next year she reiterated to me how she was past all "that" and felt completely happy and content with our marriage. A year later I caught her following tennis and she finally admitted that in spite of the fact we had been experiencing more closeness during the past year than we ever had in our whole marriage, she was unable to give this guy up but she was ready to comply with the promise she made to me over a year earlier. Whether she was or wasn't I had had enough and lost all closeness I ever felt for her- it was such a betrayal- especially after all we experienced together over that year. It felt like a fraud. She broke our marriage because her actions showed that the best our relationship could be was not enough to replace the lustful obsession she had for this other man. She never even apologized since she felt she did what she had to do to get over what she called an "addiction." Time has not proved to make me feel differently and my wife feels that it's my problem that I haven't gotten over it. I would like to hear from other guys how THEY would react if their wives did this, not what they would tell a friend to make him feel better or what advise they would give but how it would have affected them. THANKS

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