Its been some years since I Have turned to you good people for help. Some of you may remember me, some may not. Long, long story short, I have finally found a wonderful man! He is everything I love about a man, and he seems to be pretty into me too! I have not had a real relationship for over 10 years.
The problem I am having is that because of my past as an escort, and just my past in general, I have seen EVERY kind of man cheat. Men one would NEVER assume would dare step out on their wife, to men you expect it from. Because of this, I am having an insanely hard time being able to trust this wonderful man. I have yet to inflict my crazy brain on him, I work real hard to have a buffer zone between him and my crazy (I talk it out with friends, or just suffer alone in silence) and so far its ALWAYS turned out to be me just being crazy. Even though he has no idea I had been going through this mental/emotional turmoil, I always feel badly about it, and am always sorry that I would put my issues on this good man. Also, because of my crazy brain, I know I keep him at arms length in some ways, and feel like I am giving him mixed messages, and I think I have hurt his feelings a few times :(
Anyway, I don't really know what I am looking for from you all, I am just afraid there is no hope for me to be normal in a relationship. Things are still pretty new with us, so I am hoping that I will relax into it better and realize that this guy is here for me.
The problem I am having is that because of my past as an escort, and just my past in general, I have seen EVERY kind of man cheat. Men one would NEVER assume would dare step out on their wife, to men you expect it from. Because of this, I am having an insanely hard time being able to trust this wonderful man. I have yet to inflict my crazy brain on him, I work real hard to have a buffer zone between him and my crazy (I talk it out with friends, or just suffer alone in silence) and so far its ALWAYS turned out to be me just being crazy. Even though he has no idea I had been going through this mental/emotional turmoil, I always feel badly about it, and am always sorry that I would put my issues on this good man. Also, because of my crazy brain, I know I keep him at arms length in some ways, and feel like I am giving him mixed messages, and I think I have hurt his feelings a few times :(
Anyway, I don't really know what I am looking for from you all, I am just afraid there is no hope for me to be normal in a relationship. Things are still pretty new with us, so I am hoping that I will relax into it better and realize that this guy is here for me.
Put the internet to work for you.
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