Had a previous thread about my marriage problems with husband not interested in sex with me and living like roommates. Now I fully understand that the lack of intimacy is due to his porn addiction, so starting a new thread here under sex and marriage.
1 year ago I suspected that my 30yr old H might be looking at too much porn and resulted in 0 intimacy in our barely 2 years of marriage, I talked to him about it, I cried, he acknowledged and said he'll change.
1 year later, now 3 years in our marriage, we are at the same place again. Since I trusted that he was changing a year ago, I blamed myself mostly this year and had countless fights with him since lack of intimacy was trashing my confidence, caused low self esteem, depression, etc. Since my last thread on this forum seeking advice and another talk with my H, I just realized that he hasn't stop, hasn't changed, he's still occupying himself with porn instead of turning his needs to me.
Last night he said he'll change since he see that it's hurting me really bad. Problem is that this time around I am not convinced. I still feel sad and hopeless. He won't agree to therapy or doesn't believe that he needs help. He barely respond when I try to bring this problem up to him nicely on a normal basis, I have to raise my voice to get some response. And ofcourse when I raise my voice he thinks I'm complaining all the time and ruining this relationship.
I am convinced that even if there is change it will only be temporarily. Given any chance I'm not around he will just take care of himself again and fall back into the pattern.
I'm not against the use of porn, I do it myself from time to time. But I certainly cannot live with someone who only turns to porn for his sexual needs.
Really don't know what to do. I'm not ready to give him an ultimatum, I still love him too much to do that. But how can I cope with all this without escalating my aggravation, anger and ruining this relationship furthermore?
1 year ago I suspected that my 30yr old H might be looking at too much porn and resulted in 0 intimacy in our barely 2 years of marriage, I talked to him about it, I cried, he acknowledged and said he'll change.
1 year later, now 3 years in our marriage, we are at the same place again. Since I trusted that he was changing a year ago, I blamed myself mostly this year and had countless fights with him since lack of intimacy was trashing my confidence, caused low self esteem, depression, etc. Since my last thread on this forum seeking advice and another talk with my H, I just realized that he hasn't stop, hasn't changed, he's still occupying himself with porn instead of turning his needs to me.
Last night he said he'll change since he see that it's hurting me really bad. Problem is that this time around I am not convinced. I still feel sad and hopeless. He won't agree to therapy or doesn't believe that he needs help. He barely respond when I try to bring this problem up to him nicely on a normal basis, I have to raise my voice to get some response. And ofcourse when I raise my voice he thinks I'm complaining all the time and ruining this relationship.
I am convinced that even if there is change it will only be temporarily. Given any chance I'm not around he will just take care of himself again and fall back into the pattern.
I'm not against the use of porn, I do it myself from time to time. But I certainly cannot live with someone who only turns to porn for his sexual needs.
Really don't know what to do. I'm not ready to give him an ultimatum, I still love him too much to do that. But how can I cope with all this without escalating my aggravation, anger and ruining this relationship furthermore?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment