All,
My husband and I have been married for three and a half years and have a three year old son. When I married my husband, he was terrific - mature, caring, responsible. With the past behind us, he has turned into a child.
When we first got together, he was very supportive of me and our marriage. He started going out all night towards the end of my pregnancy. At the time, we were about to leave the country, so I thought he needed some time with his friends. Once he started, he never looked back. My mother in law said that I should never have let him start, and maybe she's right, but he went from her house to mine, and I can't control him.
I feel like a single mom. He goes out all night and sleeps all day. We take turns waking up with my son on the weekend - often, he's been out so late that he falls asleep and lets my son watch tv or play with his cars. About a month ago, I came downstairs and he had not changed my son out of his pajamas or given him breakfast. He likes music, so now he is pursuing a career as a DJ, and says that I am not supportive of his dreams.
We got into a big fight last week because he wanted to go to a party instead of opening presents and having cake with our three year old on his birthday. He stayed for the presents, left, came back reluctantly for the cake, and left soon thereafter.
It took him two years to find a job in a third country, and he does not support the household at all. He had done well in school, but he failed his online courses and has been suspended, and now spends a lot of time with friends pursuing his DJ dream.
I feel like we have nothing in common - and when I call him, he rarely picks up the phone. I know that he loves me, and I love him, but I deserve better than this. When we fight, he is one of those people who cannot lose and thinks he is always right. Most of the time, I do not pursue arguments because there is no point. He doesn't listen or ask how I feel. He thinks that I am selfish and prioritize my career over his dreams. I don't listen to him.
I asked if we could go to couple's counseling and he refused. When he is around, he is a good father, but our son keeps on asking where he is. Once, when I said his father was out with friends, our son said, "again?!".
He takes me for granted, and I feel like I'm sinking in quicksand with a man who refuses to grow up. I think the only option left is separation for him to consider what he has. Advice welcome!
My husband and I have been married for three and a half years and have a three year old son. When I married my husband, he was terrific - mature, caring, responsible. With the past behind us, he has turned into a child.
When we first got together, he was very supportive of me and our marriage. He started going out all night towards the end of my pregnancy. At the time, we were about to leave the country, so I thought he needed some time with his friends. Once he started, he never looked back. My mother in law said that I should never have let him start, and maybe she's right, but he went from her house to mine, and I can't control him.
I feel like a single mom. He goes out all night and sleeps all day. We take turns waking up with my son on the weekend - often, he's been out so late that he falls asleep and lets my son watch tv or play with his cars. About a month ago, I came downstairs and he had not changed my son out of his pajamas or given him breakfast. He likes music, so now he is pursuing a career as a DJ, and says that I am not supportive of his dreams.
We got into a big fight last week because he wanted to go to a party instead of opening presents and having cake with our three year old on his birthday. He stayed for the presents, left, came back reluctantly for the cake, and left soon thereafter.
It took him two years to find a job in a third country, and he does not support the household at all. He had done well in school, but he failed his online courses and has been suspended, and now spends a lot of time with friends pursuing his DJ dream.
I feel like we have nothing in common - and when I call him, he rarely picks up the phone. I know that he loves me, and I love him, but I deserve better than this. When we fight, he is one of those people who cannot lose and thinks he is always right. Most of the time, I do not pursue arguments because there is no point. He doesn't listen or ask how I feel. He thinks that I am selfish and prioritize my career over his dreams. I don't listen to him.
I asked if we could go to couple's counseling and he refused. When he is around, he is a good father, but our son keeps on asking where he is. Once, when I said his father was out with friends, our son said, "again?!".
He takes me for granted, and I feel like I'm sinking in quicksand with a man who refuses to grow up. I think the only option left is separation for him to consider what he has. Advice welcome!
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