I was hoping to get the opinions of strangers on the demise of my previous (and first) relationship, as I've only talked to friends thus far whom are somewhat biased.
I'll try not to make it too long, no promises though.
We first met doing cycling together,which involved my parents and brother also, towards the end of my sophomore year of high school. We had a little flirt thing, like he'd mess with me, text me stuff, etc. The next summer, after our junior year, I'd heard through a mutual friend that he had intentions to get serious with me/actually make a move.
And then he abruptly was sent across the country to live with his dad. I didn't hear from him again until the next summer, when he visited. He texted me randomly and for a couple weeks straight I snuck out of the house to meet him at night and we'd bike around town, hang out, talk for hours. At some point we started meeting in my basement to, ahem, do stuff (btw I lost my virginity a couple months before he visited so was and still am very inexperienced). We became pretty close and I felt like things were finally coming together with me and a guy, it was so perfect as we already knew each other pretty well. Then he left, I was heartbroken of course as I figured he wouldn't be interested in along distance relationship. But he was! For the first few months we texted as much as possible (he was very busy) and skyped whenever possible. He visited in December, and once again I snuck out to meet him, this time to go to his place to, ahem, do stuff. That break wasn't ideal as my mom started to get very strict with us, not allowing him in our room, guilt-tripping me into quitting sneaking out, etc.
At some point over the next couple months, something changed. He no longer made an effort to skype me, when previously we would ask me to even just for 10 minutes when we could. He stopped texting me before school, after school, etc. When I texted him, he would not reply or let the conversation die. I would always try to keep it going for fear I wasn't saying anything interesting (idk, in hind sight it was a tad clingy but nevertheless justified in my opinion). I would ask if something was wrong, but he never said anything other than that he was "really busy". He said he might not be able to visit over the summer as he was planning on taking clas ses. In mid March, he randomly asked me why I never shared my true opinions on things. This was because he would say something funny/joking/weird, and I would say "lol" and when he asked what was funny I would say "nothing". He thought I was hiding my opinions or something in this way....I assured him I really was just loling, and he admitted he would have considered breaking up depending on what I said. He said his two close female friends (they lived in my city, he knew them from high school.) had encouraged him to talk to me about it. Two months later, I was texting him before class and he told me (I can't remember how it came up) that I could be "a little more spontaneous" and that I was "a bit clingy". This hurt me deeply, as my biggest fear was to be the clingy gf. I hid in the bathroom and cried before texting my close guy friend, eventually having a long conversation with him in which he somewhat convinced me the only thing to do was break up with my bf. So the nex t day, I reluctantly did so. Then the next day, I realized I'd made a mistake. I left him a teary voicemail explaining how I'd let my friend influence my decision. He didn't speak to me for several days, finally telling me that I could never be forgiven as I'd gone to another male for advice when I should have gone to him. In the month following I tried to get him back via talking with one of his female friends for advice. But when she took his side, saying I'd hurt him by going to my guy friend, and I should've sent him nude pics when he asked (he asked me once directly a bit after he'd gone home after visiting in the winter, and had sorta hinted another time-I think). I eventually realized my ex was very hypocritical in his conclusion that I was unforgivable. I wonder if to this day he still thinks I was in the wrong. Even though I don't regret us breaking up, I still wonder if I'm clingy. He was my first bf and I don't want anything to mess up a future relationship.
Put the internet to work for you.
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