New York Times: Nothing Is Wrong With Your Sex Drive

Low sexual desire is a common topic at TAM. This NYT article sheds some light on why we may be thinking about it wrong and offers the hope of simpler solutions.

Quote:

Researchers have begun to understand that sexual response is not the linear mechanism they once thought it was. The previous model, originating in the late '70s, described a lack of "sexual fantasies and desire for sexual activity." It placed sexual desire first, as if it were a hunger, motivating an individual to pursue satisfaction. Desire was conceptualized as emerging more or less "spontaneously." And some people do feel they experience desire that way. Desire first, then arousal. But it turns out many people (perhaps especially women) often experience desire as responsive, emerging in response to, rather than in anticipation of, erotic stimulation. Arousal first, then desire. Both desire styles are normal and healthy. Neither is associated with pain or any disorder of arousal or orgasm. The new diagnosis is intended for women who lack both spontaneous and responsive desire, and are distressed by this. For these women, research has found that nonpharmaceutical treatments like sex therapy can be effective. But I can't count the number of women I've talked with who assume that because their desire is responsive, rather than spontaneous, they have "low desire"; that their ability to enjoy sex with their partner is meaningless if they don't also feel a persistent urge for it; in short, that they are broken, because their desire isn't what it's "supposed" to be.

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