I discovered my husband a porn problem last November. He denied it, though I saw many many websites on his phone. Some were disturbing, such as "18andabused" and another one "punishtube." He yelled, at me, called me a liar, and walked out for several hours. Made me feel bad for not trusting him. It was the holidays, I chose to just tell him, fine, I believed him and left it alone. Well, in January I checked his phone again, and more porn. Finally, one night we were talking and he gave me the perfect opening to ask him why he lied to me and was continuing with the sites. He fessed up to everything, and we were moving on. He does not believe pornography is an emotional affair. He thinks dirty pictures and cheating are completely two different things. He was caught by his last wife look at porn also. Plus I know he frequented strip clubs, and had sex at least once with a stripper before we met.
He knows how I feel about pornography. And we have a strong, biblical stance against it. He is a deacon in our church.
Yesterday we got new phones, and he was laughing about some spam that showed up on his phone from Match.com. Well, I saw the title of one of the emails, and it was a confirmation email from registering. The date on this email was about two weeks before I found the porn in November. There were several emails asking him to finish his profile. So, I sent the emails to me this morning. I linked to the website through the email. It sent me to the UK version of Match. We are in the US. But, when I did the "forgot password" link, it sent an email to change the password. So to me that means he actually registered. It does look like he never finished the profile, no pics. Just enough so he could look.
He knows I checked his phone this morning. He is denying everything. Telling me that I don't trust or believe him. Telling me that if I choose not to believe him that it's spam, that it's over.
I don't know what to believe. If I didn't find all the other, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. But, I don't know what to do. I love this man. I planned on growing old with him. I have no one to talk to. All my friends are from church, or family.
He's got a temper, and uses it to intimidate me sometimes, as he knows it's my weak spot.
Thank you for any advice, input, anything.
He knows how I feel about pornography. And we have a strong, biblical stance against it. He is a deacon in our church.
Yesterday we got new phones, and he was laughing about some spam that showed up on his phone from Match.com. Well, I saw the title of one of the emails, and it was a confirmation email from registering. The date on this email was about two weeks before I found the porn in November. There were several emails asking him to finish his profile. So, I sent the emails to me this morning. I linked to the website through the email. It sent me to the UK version of Match. We are in the US. But, when I did the "forgot password" link, it sent an email to change the password. So to me that means he actually registered. It does look like he never finished the profile, no pics. Just enough so he could look.
He knows I checked his phone this morning. He is denying everything. Telling me that I don't trust or believe him. Telling me that if I choose not to believe him that it's spam, that it's over.
I don't know what to believe. If I didn't find all the other, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. But, I don't know what to do. I love this man. I planned on growing old with him. I have no one to talk to. All my friends are from church, or family.
He's got a temper, and uses it to intimidate me sometimes, as he knows it's my weak spot.
Thank you for any advice, input, anything.
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