I am trying to figure out if I should continue a relationship with a very devoted man -- we are both divorced and in our late forties.
He has a lot of trust issues and I have perpetuated them by being a bit evasive about my relationships with male friends. They truly are friends - but he's insanely jealous. He started going through my emails, and text messages and even checking to see if I am where I say I am --
The problem is -- I have lied to him. I haven't been truthful about all my locations because I didn't want him in my business. He also found flirty text messages with another guy - and that drove him to mistrust - I told one of my male friends that I missed him via text and that was sent around 1am while I was with my boyfriend. When he found that - he went ballistic. Because of this behavior - I have also lied about not being able to go places with him if it involves travel -- because I start getting cold feet. Then when he finds out that I lied -- he gets livid.
He has forgiven me for my mistakes, but he still holds stuff over my head... and I am at the point where I know he wants to get engaged this weekend.
I'm trying to figure out - if I should do it. I love him ENORMOUSLY. I feel like I can't live without him. But, I want to know what to do....
He still monitors my phone and wants to know my location at all times. He also doesn't like me going out with some girlfriends etc.
I am just feeling very uneasy - because there are so many pros and cons to my relationship with this man. And I don't really know how to live without him in my life....he is a very good person - in so many ways.
But, I must admit that I have had family say that level of control is not "love"....
I think I just feel as if I'm to blame, because I have not been the most honest with him - he's the type that says "I'm in going to the store - I'm really going to the store"...
And my problem is that there have been times where I'd say I'm going somewhere -- and then on the way -- a friend will call and I'll stop by wherever she's at -- and go MIA for an hour or so -- and he will think that I'm not only dishonest, but that I'm cheating on him.
What do you think?
He has a lot of trust issues and I have perpetuated them by being a bit evasive about my relationships with male friends. They truly are friends - but he's insanely jealous. He started going through my emails, and text messages and even checking to see if I am where I say I am --
The problem is -- I have lied to him. I haven't been truthful about all my locations because I didn't want him in my business. He also found flirty text messages with another guy - and that drove him to mistrust - I told one of my male friends that I missed him via text and that was sent around 1am while I was with my boyfriend. When he found that - he went ballistic. Because of this behavior - I have also lied about not being able to go places with him if it involves travel -- because I start getting cold feet. Then when he finds out that I lied -- he gets livid.
He has forgiven me for my mistakes, but he still holds stuff over my head... and I am at the point where I know he wants to get engaged this weekend.
I'm trying to figure out - if I should do it. I love him ENORMOUSLY. I feel like I can't live without him. But, I want to know what to do....
He still monitors my phone and wants to know my location at all times. He also doesn't like me going out with some girlfriends etc.
I am just feeling very uneasy - because there are so many pros and cons to my relationship with this man. And I don't really know how to live without him in my life....he is a very good person - in so many ways.
But, I must admit that I have had family say that level of control is not "love"....
I think I just feel as if I'm to blame, because I have not been the most honest with him - he's the type that says "I'm in going to the store - I'm really going to the store"...
And my problem is that there have been times where I'd say I'm going somewhere -- and then on the way -- a friend will call and I'll stop by wherever she's at -- and go MIA for an hour or so -- and he will think that I'm not only dishonest, but that I'm cheating on him.
What do you think?
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