Hello my story starts in 1984 . My wife and I had gone out several times starting in 1981 but finally connected for good in 84. My wife graduated in 87 and I in 84 so we were both kids. Our son was born in 86 and we were married in 87. Since then we have had 3 children and now 2 grandchildren. My wife had a affair off and on since 2012 with a coworker. It started when I ignored her needs due to my illness. No excuse I failed her as her husband. I had got out the funk and we seen our pastor for counseling. We tried and in Sept 2013 I found she is still having a affair with him. She continually lied to me about who she would text and where she would be . I was controlling and I tried so hard to trust her and not be suspicious all the time but I was and that apparently is what caused her to stray away from me to the other guy. I did not give her the love she needed so she got it from him. We tried counseling and went 2 times. I had told her that I would stop being controlling and I did . It stopped that instant. This had really woke me up. Things were great ! We were happy and doing things together . More intimacy as well . With my trust issues i checked the phone records because i am so insecure I seen she was still calling him and texting him and this was in December. We then went to counseling for a regular times and it helped. Tracey realized that she needs to be with me in the marriage and with someone else would just bring unhappiness. So we start again fresh in 2014 only to find out in July she was still talking to him. She told me she does not want anything to do with him but he is just a friend. He is the only friend that calls her as her high school friends don't anymore. I told her she couldn't talk to him. This last Wednesday I wanted a piece of gum so I didn't want to go to my desk to get some and wake my granddaughter up i looked for some in my wife's purse and came across a track phone card and she confessed to s till talking to him. I asked her to pack her clothes and leave. The hurt is too much to continually go through this again and again. Now I stay home and I clean the house while she goes to work, I do all the laundry and make sure she has clean work clothes everyday , I do the grocery shopping and I buy her flowers every other week ( a few carnations) and I tell her she is beautiful everyday and I love you a 100 times a day, I take good care of her. Our sex life is good . I do not understand why she would keep talking to the other guy. It has been hard this last couple days . But I think being apart she can find out what she wants . She has come over to work on a wedding dress for someone and we shared a pizza last night . We had talked a little being very supportive and nice. And we have been crying and hurting. We both love each other . She came over to pick up our daughter for work as they both work at the same place so I seen her again . Is this good to be seeing her and not pressuring each other ? Or should we try not to see each other ? I do want to get back together but only if changes are made. Not sure what to do?
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