Good evening all
I've seen a variety of posts on how to find out if your partner is cheating. I thought it would be good to talk about how to keep them from cheating.
You can of course monitor: keyloggers, gps trackers, private eyes, seduction shills, ankle bracelets, etc etc. I think they are all a bad idea :nono: All that will do is let you know that they already cheated - and then what - at best misery and anger.
Rather I am thinking about how to keep them from wanting to cheat. This won't work on everyone of course - some people are just selfish, sex-addicted, or just plan evil. But if you are with someone like that you should leave anyway. For most people though I suggests (and hope we can discuss):
1) Sex - Be sure that they are sexually satisfied, that whenever they want sex they can get it from you. If you aren't in the mood for a long lovemaking session, you can still find something quick to satisfy them - If you can't give your lover an orgasm in 10 minutes with mouth, hands or toys, you need more practice anyway:p. When practical try to fulfill their fantasies.
Sex has a strong effect on the mind - being horny can make someone consider doing things that they would never do otherwise.
2). Affection - When you / they get home from work, start with a hug and a kiss, not a list of tasks to be done. Send love notes. Randomly kiss them on the back of the neck when they are sitting down. etc. Make them aware that you are constantly thinking about them even when you are not looking for sex. No one wants to feel that all you want is them to do chores, pay the bills, and have sex.
3). Respect - You are their lover, their parent. Getting angry once in a while is fine, but treating them like children isn't. Don't constantly complain / remind them. Don't nag. Don't verbally punish them when they misbehave. If you don't honestly respect your spouse, you shouldn't be married to them anyway. Don't put them in a situation where they look to other people for respect and admiration.
I'm not claiming this will always work, but if it doesn't, if they do have an affair or leave you, you will not be asking yourself why you didn't do all you could earlier. All these take effort, but again, if your spouse isn't worth the effort, why are you with them?
I've seen a variety of posts on how to find out if your partner is cheating. I thought it would be good to talk about how to keep them from cheating.
You can of course monitor: keyloggers, gps trackers, private eyes, seduction shills, ankle bracelets, etc etc. I think they are all a bad idea :nono: All that will do is let you know that they already cheated - and then what - at best misery and anger.
Rather I am thinking about how to keep them from wanting to cheat. This won't work on everyone of course - some people are just selfish, sex-addicted, or just plan evil. But if you are with someone like that you should leave anyway. For most people though I suggests (and hope we can discuss):
1) Sex - Be sure that they are sexually satisfied, that whenever they want sex they can get it from you. If you aren't in the mood for a long lovemaking session, you can still find something quick to satisfy them - If you can't give your lover an orgasm in 10 minutes with mouth, hands or toys, you need more practice anyway:p. When practical try to fulfill their fantasies.
Sex has a strong effect on the mind - being horny can make someone consider doing things that they would never do otherwise.
2). Affection - When you / they get home from work, start with a hug and a kiss, not a list of tasks to be done. Send love notes. Randomly kiss them on the back of the neck when they are sitting down. etc. Make them aware that you are constantly thinking about them even when you are not looking for sex. No one wants to feel that all you want is them to do chores, pay the bills, and have sex.
3). Respect - You are their lover, their parent. Getting angry once in a while is fine, but treating them like children isn't. Don't constantly complain / remind them. Don't nag. Don't verbally punish them when they misbehave. If you don't honestly respect your spouse, you shouldn't be married to them anyway. Don't put them in a situation where they look to other people for respect and admiration.
I'm not claiming this will always work, but if it doesn't, if they do have an affair or leave you, you will not be asking yourself why you didn't do all you could earlier. All these take effort, but again, if your spouse isn't worth the effort, why are you with them?
Put the internet to work for you.
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