My 15 year marriage is on the brink of divorce. We have always struggled with him being much higher drive than me. He's a daily kind of guy, I'm a weekly kind of girl. That said, I've always done more to try to meet his needs, by alternatives like oral sex or whatever if I really wasn't in the mood for intercourse. So we were usually intimate every other day in some way or another.
But it's never been enough, and he is never happy. He gets extremely moody, and gives me the silent treatment. It's like walking on eggshells to be around him, and his yelling has even been scaring the kids. He's become more and more controlling, insisting on physical attention at the most inconvenient times. He is even being forceful with his kisses, which I never would have thought possible!
There are some sexual acts he wants me to do (butt play, I hope that's not TMI to say!) that I just have no interest in. I've tried, and just hate it. He says this fetish is part of who he is, and that me not engaging in that with him is ignoring his needs and not respecting a very important part of him.
He wanted to get that need filled outside the marriage if I was unable to comply. When I refused to have sex with him if he was with someone else, he left. So now we're separated.
He now wants to compromise... if I give him one night a month where I won't say no to his fetish, and have sex at least bi-weekly, he will come back and be a happy, easier to live with guy, as he won't be sex starved. What do you think? Is this a need I have to meet, or a want that he shouldn't be insisting on?
But it's never been enough, and he is never happy. He gets extremely moody, and gives me the silent treatment. It's like walking on eggshells to be around him, and his yelling has even been scaring the kids. He's become more and more controlling, insisting on physical attention at the most inconvenient times. He is even being forceful with his kisses, which I never would have thought possible!
There are some sexual acts he wants me to do (butt play, I hope that's not TMI to say!) that I just have no interest in. I've tried, and just hate it. He says this fetish is part of who he is, and that me not engaging in that with him is ignoring his needs and not respecting a very important part of him.
He wanted to get that need filled outside the marriage if I was unable to comply. When I refused to have sex with him if he was with someone else, he left. So now we're separated.
He now wants to compromise... if I give him one night a month where I won't say no to his fetish, and have sex at least bi-weekly, he will come back and be a happy, easier to live with guy, as he won't be sex starved. What do you think? Is this a need I have to meet, or a want that he shouldn't be insisting on?
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