I am going through a terrible phase, having screwed up and facing consequences of my own actions.
I am married, early 30s ( both of us). I met a man, also married and 1 kid, at work and would occasionally chat with him, go for coffee. Once we went for drinks and he told me he is attracted to me and wants to sleep with me. I think that acted like a huge ego boost to me and I fell for him. After that, it was a limerance kind of phase : I always wanted to talk to him, be with him, had thoughts about him, lost some focus at work, forgot how to be a wife at home, forgot my family etc. I told him after a few days of the drinks meeting that I also had feelings for him and am attracted to him. He listened carefully to me. Ofcourse, he is the kind who is more than happy to have sex ( one time or a few times and forget the woman). However, he did mention to me that if he and I were to be involved physically then I would not be the same person in his eyes since I am not the kind of woman who is involved in one night stands. He mentioned he values my friendship and therefore we shoul d try and not to get involved sexually. I agreed but I do have physical feelings for him. I also feel a little rejected since I know I am attractive to a lot of men in general but this man did give me very valid reasons for us not to sleep with each other. So, I controlled the feelings.
Then he left the job to move to another job and we still meet 2-3 times a week ( earlier it would be 5 times a week, every day after work). We talk a lot of stuff : work, career development, sometimes our spouses ( but nothing private), health etc. I feel like I am the one head over heels with him and it is hurting me that he does not show his feelings as much. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I have these feelings. Now, all of this made me think about how terrible I have been to my husband and I want to end the feelings I have for this man but want to keep the friendship ( I value his input in my life, he is very respectful, wise etc).
I am thinking of having a chat with him next week and telling him that I am hurt he rejected me sexually, I still have feelings, I will control my feelings and focus my energy on my husband but he will always be close to my heart. I will end up destroying myserf if I keep going on with feelings for him. He also wanted me to be someone like a wingwoman for him to pick up women who are interested in one night stands, I am thinking of helping him now. I was not able to help him before because I had feelings for him and it was hard to imagine him with other women. Any thoughts on the chat that I plan to have with him?
I have a wonderful marriage and husband and I don't know why I did this. Hope I can find an answer eventually.
I am married, early 30s ( both of us). I met a man, also married and 1 kid, at work and would occasionally chat with him, go for coffee. Once we went for drinks and he told me he is attracted to me and wants to sleep with me. I think that acted like a huge ego boost to me and I fell for him. After that, it was a limerance kind of phase : I always wanted to talk to him, be with him, had thoughts about him, lost some focus at work, forgot how to be a wife at home, forgot my family etc. I told him after a few days of the drinks meeting that I also had feelings for him and am attracted to him. He listened carefully to me. Ofcourse, he is the kind who is more than happy to have sex ( one time or a few times and forget the woman). However, he did mention to me that if he and I were to be involved physically then I would not be the same person in his eyes since I am not the kind of woman who is involved in one night stands. He mentioned he values my friendship and therefore we shoul d try and not to get involved sexually. I agreed but I do have physical feelings for him. I also feel a little rejected since I know I am attractive to a lot of men in general but this man did give me very valid reasons for us not to sleep with each other. So, I controlled the feelings.
Then he left the job to move to another job and we still meet 2-3 times a week ( earlier it would be 5 times a week, every day after work). We talk a lot of stuff : work, career development, sometimes our spouses ( but nothing private), health etc. I feel like I am the one head over heels with him and it is hurting me that he does not show his feelings as much. I know I shouldn't feel that way but I have these feelings. Now, all of this made me think about how terrible I have been to my husband and I want to end the feelings I have for this man but want to keep the friendship ( I value his input in my life, he is very respectful, wise etc).
I am thinking of having a chat with him next week and telling him that I am hurt he rejected me sexually, I still have feelings, I will control my feelings and focus my energy on my husband but he will always be close to my heart. I will end up destroying myserf if I keep going on with feelings for him. He also wanted me to be someone like a wingwoman for him to pick up women who are interested in one night stands, I am thinking of helping him now. I was not able to help him before because I had feelings for him and it was hard to imagine him with other women. Any thoughts on the chat that I plan to have with him?
I have a wonderful marriage and husband and I don't know why I did this. Hope I can find an answer eventually.
Put the internet to work for you.
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