This is going to be another lack of sex and considering divorce post. And I'm just not sure if I'm being unreasonable, selfish or are my feelings justified. My wife and I are both 52 and have been married 29 years. We have 2 kids, one married and one college so essentially are empty nesters. Sex has always been pretty good and fulfilling, especially after we entered our 40's. I was the initiator most of the time but not always. But about 3 yrs ago she seemed to lose all interest. It wasn't until I overhead her on the phone with her mother that she had started menopause. Not sure why she didn't tell me about it. But I did some reading to educate myself and talked to her about it. She confirmed that her sex drive had dropped since it started. So I backed of the attempts to initiate sex and just hoped it would not last too long. It lasted around 3 years. During that time we had sex on average once every 2 month I'd guess. Now that she is post-m enopausal, she is suffering from vaginal dryness which causes her pain during sex and she, in her words, has zero desire. Lubes do not help. I get it that this is not her fault. Two weeks ago she had her annual gyno appointment. As she told it to me: the doctor asked her how her sex life was and she said it did not exist. He asked if we were having sex at least once a week. No. Every 2 weeks? No. Once a month? No. So he tells her that the two of them have to do something for your husband and proceeds to give her a month or so supply of a newly approved drug call Osphena (I think). He explains to her that this drug has been in use in Europe for years with great success. Tells her to make herself familiar with the possible side effects just in case. So when she comes home and tells me about this I was thrilled. However, the following day, very matter of factly, informs me that, after Googling the drug, she has decided not to take it. She proceeds to tell me all of the horror stories that she read about. And that was that. No mention that she would talk to her doctor about an alternative or anything. So here's what really bothers me. At the doctor, she was not the one that brought this up, he did. Then she waves possible salvation in my face then jerks the rug out from under me. She knows that I rank sex right up there with food, water and air and that going without it is killing me. I can't help but come to the conclusion that she does not care anymore. That sex for us is now a thing of the past and she's ok with that and could give a rat's behind how it affects me. And its put both of us in a no win situations. I say nothing and be frustrated and resentful or say something and become the bad guy trying to get her to take a med she's not comfortable with. Being a bit of a hypochondriac, if she takes the Osphena or some other drug, she will have an issue I can almost guarantee it and then it will be my fault. So I don't k now what to do. All I know is that I will not remain very much longer in a sexless marriage.
Put the internet to work for you.
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