So I started a thread a while back...
Summary I am a car guy...I have been since I was 16. I also have a car related business..so this is a bit deeper than just a hobby.
I have a show car than I have been slowly building for the course of the last 2-3 years..I'm pretty good at what I do and my goal is to finally get a car into SEMA this year. For those who have no idea of what that is..it's basically the worlds biggest car show with the best builders around period.
Here's the problem with my marriage and its a huge issue. It creates fights all the time. I don't come rushing home from work to just work on it right away..I literally on a good week get about 10 hrs in it including weekends. Most of the time it's much less.
I literally can never work on it in peace..my wife comes up with 'tasks' around the house that need to be done..although many of these tasks could be done by her...she refuses to do anything seemingly unless I participate at the same time.
I come home..we sit down for dinner I get met with the honey do list..she will sit there and spend 2 hours making a salad and destroy the kitchen and then I'm supposed to spend the rest of the night cleaning appearantly...and if I dare get anything done on the car and something inside the house is out of order I might as well be the lowest pos on the planet. At least that's how I feel.
Here's the thing. We do an equal amount of work to the house. We have a small child so it's not perfect. Even if i slave away and have every inch clean its a mess again the very next day..I truely feel that if I do things her way all the time..there literally is no time ever to complete my goal.
I'm so fed up with this..am a supposed to just submit and give up? Funny thing is she was in nursing school up until a couple months ago and she swore she would back off and she would start doing more around the house...well 2 months later nothing has changed.
I just don't get how it's a problem. Unless my attention is 100% on her and the family every waking moment until I hit the pillow I feel like she's just mad about it. In reality I could have had this thing done a year ago under normal circumstances and not even pushing that hard. I started doing it at home so it wasn't time away from the family and just the fact im in the garage is just unacceptable appearantly.
Arguing about it is like bashing my head against a brick wall..logic does not apply. Anyone else feel like this? It's to the point I just feel guilty for working on it and I truely feel I shouldn't feel like that. It sucks. It's become her favorite complaint to extended family and friends..all she is doing is pushing me away even more.
Summary I am a car guy...I have been since I was 16. I also have a car related business..so this is a bit deeper than just a hobby.
I have a show car than I have been slowly building for the course of the last 2-3 years..I'm pretty good at what I do and my goal is to finally get a car into SEMA this year. For those who have no idea of what that is..it's basically the worlds biggest car show with the best builders around period.
Here's the problem with my marriage and its a huge issue. It creates fights all the time. I don't come rushing home from work to just work on it right away..I literally on a good week get about 10 hrs in it including weekends. Most of the time it's much less.
I literally can never work on it in peace..my wife comes up with 'tasks' around the house that need to be done..although many of these tasks could be done by her...she refuses to do anything seemingly unless I participate at the same time.
I come home..we sit down for dinner I get met with the honey do list..she will sit there and spend 2 hours making a salad and destroy the kitchen and then I'm supposed to spend the rest of the night cleaning appearantly...and if I dare get anything done on the car and something inside the house is out of order I might as well be the lowest pos on the planet. At least that's how I feel.
Here's the thing. We do an equal amount of work to the house. We have a small child so it's not perfect. Even if i slave away and have every inch clean its a mess again the very next day..I truely feel that if I do things her way all the time..there literally is no time ever to complete my goal.
I'm so fed up with this..am a supposed to just submit and give up? Funny thing is she was in nursing school up until a couple months ago and she swore she would back off and she would start doing more around the house...well 2 months later nothing has changed.
I just don't get how it's a problem. Unless my attention is 100% on her and the family every waking moment until I hit the pillow I feel like she's just mad about it. In reality I could have had this thing done a year ago under normal circumstances and not even pushing that hard. I started doing it at home so it wasn't time away from the family and just the fact im in the garage is just unacceptable appearantly.
Arguing about it is like bashing my head against a brick wall..logic does not apply. Anyone else feel like this? It's to the point I just feel guilty for working on it and I truely feel I shouldn't feel like that. It sucks. It's become her favorite complaint to extended family and friends..all she is doing is pushing me away even more.
Put the internet to work for you.
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