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Informing wife (separated for a year) of a new relationship

Quick back story. We've been separated for almost a year. No chance of reconciliation. Will not be divorcing for a while for insurance, financial reasons, etc. All is cordial between us. We have two daughters.

I met a friend of my dads, at a wedding, the same weekend that I moved out of the house. (talk about a rough weekend...wedding the same time my marriage is falling apart) She's a friend of his and his wife who they've known for a long time. My kids met her at the wedding and have seen her a few times here and there. They really like her and know her as a friend of the family. Over the last year, we've spent a lot of time discussing my situation and hers. She had been going through a very similar process. She will be divorced very soon.

This has turned into what could be an actual relationship. We've gone out to lunch and spent an afternoon with both of our kids. Still under the idea of "family friends"

My question is at what point do I tell my "wife" about the relationship? I wouldn't tell the kids that she's my girlfriend before I told her. I'd never have her sleep at my place with my kids there.

Part of me feels like I don't need to tell her, but out of respect, I should. I'd want to know if my kids were spending time with her and another man. I'm just not sure when it is appropriate to mention it or how to go about it and it to come across as just information...not a rub your nose in it kind of deal. If that makes any sense.

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