I went today for my first therapist session. I've been asking my husband to book an MC for the two of us and IC for himself (he has major anxiety/depression issues). A lack of initiation and motivation, along with his anxiety issues were what caused me to leave in the first place. Separated 2 months now.
He says he's called a couple of places and never received calls back. Ok. So in other words, he was doing nothing. And then when I pushed he said "everything couldn't happen on my time table". But how long does he want to be separated for? I'm the one who left - but said I was willing to work on things. I needed him to step up and show me I was priority to him.
So I couldn't stand my own racing thoughts anymore and decided to just go ahead with my own therapy. Called Monday, had an appt this morning.
It seemed to be mainly telling her our story and mostly about my husband's anxiety issues and how they affected his emotions (or lack thereof), and how that felt like a black cloud over my head day in and day out. Anyways, it seemed mostly me talking and then her agreeing that yes, he sounded like he needed some major IC to deal with the anxiety/depression.
So I don't feel any further ahead in my thought process - of whether to stay or go. I know, its just one session.
She seemed to think I either need to decide if status quo with his behaviour is something I can live with (it took me 3 years to thinking about it to realize I can't and move out - a HUGE step for me). Or see if he's willing to put in any work on himself and listening to me. Which so far, he hasn't. She actually laughed when I said he went to one consultation session with a psychiatrist and thought that he was done (check) - he seriously thought that was all I expected.
Should I now ask him to come with me to this one for marriage counselling? I almost feel like she can't give me really good advice without getting his side of the story. But now I feel like I may have "tainted" her in sharing just my side and she's thinking its all him causing the big issues. She didn't really ask me any questions in regards to my own responsibility in the marriage failure. Again, just one session so far so only so much information can happen in 50 minutes.
Has anyone else started IC and then brought their spouse in or was it better to go to another therapist at that point?
He says he's called a couple of places and never received calls back. Ok. So in other words, he was doing nothing. And then when I pushed he said "everything couldn't happen on my time table". But how long does he want to be separated for? I'm the one who left - but said I was willing to work on things. I needed him to step up and show me I was priority to him.
So I couldn't stand my own racing thoughts anymore and decided to just go ahead with my own therapy. Called Monday, had an appt this morning.
It seemed to be mainly telling her our story and mostly about my husband's anxiety issues and how they affected his emotions (or lack thereof), and how that felt like a black cloud over my head day in and day out. Anyways, it seemed mostly me talking and then her agreeing that yes, he sounded like he needed some major IC to deal with the anxiety/depression.
So I don't feel any further ahead in my thought process - of whether to stay or go. I know, its just one session.
She seemed to think I either need to decide if status quo with his behaviour is something I can live with (it took me 3 years to thinking about it to realize I can't and move out - a HUGE step for me). Or see if he's willing to put in any work on himself and listening to me. Which so far, he hasn't. She actually laughed when I said he went to one consultation session with a psychiatrist and thought that he was done (check) - he seriously thought that was all I expected.
Should I now ask him to come with me to this one for marriage counselling? I almost feel like she can't give me really good advice without getting his side of the story. But now I feel like I may have "tainted" her in sharing just my side and she's thinking its all him causing the big issues. She didn't really ask me any questions in regards to my own responsibility in the marriage failure. Again, just one session so far so only so much information can happen in 50 minutes.
Has anyone else started IC and then brought their spouse in or was it better to go to another therapist at that point?
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