If you are a husband working the night shift, I need your input, please. I apologize if this is a very long post.
My husband works a 12-hour shift from 5pm to 5am, 7 days every 2 weeks. I work the regular 9-5 job. And here is our most recent problem/argument.
Last year, I signed our 6-year old son for swimming classes. These are 30-minutes classes at night starting around 6:30-6:45. Some nights when husband is off, I would ask him if he could take our son so I can stay at work late to beat some deadlines (I work a very stressful job with tight deadlines). My husband normally wakes up at 3:30pm so he is already fully awake when swimming class starts. Some of those times, he would take him but ONLY after giving me a hard time by arguing with me first. There were even classes that our son had to skip because he just refused to take him even though he was at home and I couldn't come home on time for the class.
After the first set of classes, I signed our son up again because he wasn't really swimming yet. My husband said he did not want me signing him up again. His reason? He needs to relax after working a 12-hour shift at night! Naturally, it was even harder for me to ask him to take him whenever I can't because of my work. So, our son had to skip even more classes.
Last month, husband signed our son up for Baseball Little League. And now, he wanted me to take him during the times that he can't because he has to sleep. I said NO, I cannot take our son to these baseball games just like the way he said NO to me when I asked him to take him to his swimming classed. And now he said I am a bad parent? He said the swimming classes and baseball games are apples and oranges because the swimming classes did not happen at 2am, when I was supposed to be sleeping. I said that is beside the point because the swimming classes happened when he was already awake for 3 hours. My main point is, why did he refuse to take his son to swimming when he is already fully awake and not working?
I know it sounds like a revenge but yes, I just wanted him to see where I was when he refused to take his son to his extracurricular activities when I can't. Of course, I wanted to be there when my son bats and pitches for the first time. Heck, I wanted to be there during the whole season! That is my one and only child. I do things with him and for him all the time. Between me and my husband, I do 80% for our son and he does the remaining 20%, which I understand because of his work schedule. But what I do not understand is when he refuses to do things for him when he is capable, meaning, he is off.
I am not a bad mother. I sacrifice a lot for my son. There are a lot of nights that I would only have 4, even 3 hours, of sleep because of him and my work. I have a very stressful job with tight deadlines. I go to work, come home, take care of my son and continue to work after he goes to bed and then repeat the same cycle the following day. I am not saying he does not do things for him. But I wish he could do more so it will give me a little bit of extra time for myself, specifically for sleeping time.
So, in your household, in a similar situation (the swimming situation), did you ever refuse to take your child to wherever he/she needs to go, when your wife cannot? If so, for what reason? I just wanted to understand so it would be an argument between me and my hubby in the future.
Thank you very much for your enlightenment.
My husband works a 12-hour shift from 5pm to 5am, 7 days every 2 weeks. I work the regular 9-5 job. And here is our most recent problem/argument.
Last year, I signed our 6-year old son for swimming classes. These are 30-minutes classes at night starting around 6:30-6:45. Some nights when husband is off, I would ask him if he could take our son so I can stay at work late to beat some deadlines (I work a very stressful job with tight deadlines). My husband normally wakes up at 3:30pm so he is already fully awake when swimming class starts. Some of those times, he would take him but ONLY after giving me a hard time by arguing with me first. There were even classes that our son had to skip because he just refused to take him even though he was at home and I couldn't come home on time for the class.
After the first set of classes, I signed our son up again because he wasn't really swimming yet. My husband said he did not want me signing him up again. His reason? He needs to relax after working a 12-hour shift at night! Naturally, it was even harder for me to ask him to take him whenever I can't because of my work. So, our son had to skip even more classes.
Last month, husband signed our son up for Baseball Little League. And now, he wanted me to take him during the times that he can't because he has to sleep. I said NO, I cannot take our son to these baseball games just like the way he said NO to me when I asked him to take him to his swimming classed. And now he said I am a bad parent? He said the swimming classes and baseball games are apples and oranges because the swimming classes did not happen at 2am, when I was supposed to be sleeping. I said that is beside the point because the swimming classes happened when he was already awake for 3 hours. My main point is, why did he refuse to take his son to swimming when he is already fully awake and not working?
I know it sounds like a revenge but yes, I just wanted him to see where I was when he refused to take his son to his extracurricular activities when I can't. Of course, I wanted to be there when my son bats and pitches for the first time. Heck, I wanted to be there during the whole season! That is my one and only child. I do things with him and for him all the time. Between me and my husband, I do 80% for our son and he does the remaining 20%, which I understand because of his work schedule. But what I do not understand is when he refuses to do things for him when he is capable, meaning, he is off.
I am not a bad mother. I sacrifice a lot for my son. There are a lot of nights that I would only have 4, even 3 hours, of sleep because of him and my work. I have a very stressful job with tight deadlines. I go to work, come home, take care of my son and continue to work after he goes to bed and then repeat the same cycle the following day. I am not saying he does not do things for him. But I wish he could do more so it will give me a little bit of extra time for myself, specifically for sleeping time.
So, in your household, in a similar situation (the swimming situation), did you ever refuse to take your child to wherever he/she needs to go, when your wife cannot? If so, for what reason? I just wanted to understand so it would be an argument between me and my hubby in the future.
Thank you very much for your enlightenment.
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