Alo.
So.. the lowdown..
Me: 35 F, B/F is 33M, time dating = 3 months. No kids. I live alone, he lives with two female housemates, one a long time friend, one he barely speaks with.
For myself, this is one of my first ever true relationships. All others have been mostly long distance, lasting from 4 months to 2 years, often with 2-4 years in between. So yes. finally, at 35, this is my first relationship, and i"m freaked out and have no clue what I'm doing. * meep help!
So..
Other pertinent facts: We are both introverts to some degree, him more so than I , I do have an extrovert flair. At least 1 weekend per month I used just stay by myself daydreaming and zoning out.
I so far am finding him very needy. I've basically gone to having evenings and weekends all to myself if I want it that way, to only having Monday, Thursday and Friday nights, and half of Sunday. weeknights are usually shot with errands, making food, cleaning food, and then.. done. He comes over after work Friday around midnight, and then we're together until about 11 on Sunday when he leaves for work again, by which time I'm cleaning up the mess that's been made while he was here, preparing for the rest of the week.. and I still don't really relax.. and I"m so desperate for me time. To really de-stress, I find I NEED a weekend, and not just 5 hours where you're trying to de-stress from work, get life done, and get into bed to do it all again.
We have talked a bit about this. He feels insecure and self doubting because "I don't want to see him". I've tried telling him it's more that " I NEED my alone time". He always says that if I need time to myself, just say so. But the three times in 3 months I've taken him up on this in minor ways, delaying our meetups till the next morning, or by 2 hours.. he later freaks out over txt msg or otherwise.. and I feel an odd mix of guilty/bad/resentful and.. overwhelmed/frustrated.
Also, when we're not together.. he gets antsy if I'm not texting him. He hates his job and says my text brighten up his day.. once I didn't know what to write.. so I sent a funny definition of something.. and that still upset him.
Sorry.. that was long.
I just find it stressful to have someone needing so much time and energy from me all of a sudden. We went from 0 to 100% time together in.. 2 months really.
Um.. thoughts?
So.. the lowdown..
Me: 35 F, B/F is 33M, time dating = 3 months. No kids. I live alone, he lives with two female housemates, one a long time friend, one he barely speaks with.
For myself, this is one of my first ever true relationships. All others have been mostly long distance, lasting from 4 months to 2 years, often with 2-4 years in between. So yes. finally, at 35, this is my first relationship, and i"m freaked out and have no clue what I'm doing. * meep help!
So..
Other pertinent facts: We are both introverts to some degree, him more so than I , I do have an extrovert flair. At least 1 weekend per month I used just stay by myself daydreaming and zoning out.
I so far am finding him very needy. I've basically gone to having evenings and weekends all to myself if I want it that way, to only having Monday, Thursday and Friday nights, and half of Sunday. weeknights are usually shot with errands, making food, cleaning food, and then.. done. He comes over after work Friday around midnight, and then we're together until about 11 on Sunday when he leaves for work again, by which time I'm cleaning up the mess that's been made while he was here, preparing for the rest of the week.. and I still don't really relax.. and I"m so desperate for me time. To really de-stress, I find I NEED a weekend, and not just 5 hours where you're trying to de-stress from work, get life done, and get into bed to do it all again.
We have talked a bit about this. He feels insecure and self doubting because "I don't want to see him". I've tried telling him it's more that " I NEED my alone time". He always says that if I need time to myself, just say so. But the three times in 3 months I've taken him up on this in minor ways, delaying our meetups till the next morning, or by 2 hours.. he later freaks out over txt msg or otherwise.. and I feel an odd mix of guilty/bad/resentful and.. overwhelmed/frustrated.
Also, when we're not together.. he gets antsy if I'm not texting him. He hates his job and says my text brighten up his day.. once I didn't know what to write.. so I sent a funny definition of something.. and that still upset him.
Sorry.. that was long.
I just find it stressful to have someone needing so much time and energy from me all of a sudden. We went from 0 to 100% time together in.. 2 months really.
Um.. thoughts?
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