Like many of you here I've read and studied the subject of infidelity. I never thought I would have reason to but life taught me a lesson in infidelity first hand. With what I know now I feel like I could be a counselor myself.
My DDay was this past May which would make it about 8 months. Before DDay we were in MC off and on for a few months. I feel really good right now. I've been in a relationship for the last 3 months and it's going really well.
I've been able to reflect on how far along I am on my path to healing by seeing how far along my new gf is. She was cheated on too. It's been 3 years for her. She still has anxiety over being cheated on. I have those worries to but not to the extent that she experiences them.
My family thinks I shouldn't be dating right now but I disagree. I feel total indifference to my ex. I'm overall happy. After DDay I did some IC and support groups but stopped because the support groups were depressing me further. After seeing people who were worse off than me I vowed to live the rest of my life happy. I wrote my goodbye letter and I posted here for help. I chose not to let her have any control over my happiness.
That brings me to my question. I keep reading and hearing that it takes years to heal from an affair. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me? I don't have triggers. I've been to restaurants that we've been to before and I'm still able to enjoy the food. I've been to weddings and I don't feel down. I see my ex when I drop off the kids and all I feel is sorry for her. I don't miss her. The only time I feel down about the situation is when I think about my 2 kids going back and forth between two homes. The marriage seems like a distant memory to me.
TLDR; I feel that I'm over the affair. Is it to soon to feel this?
My DDay was this past May which would make it about 8 months. Before DDay we were in MC off and on for a few months. I feel really good right now. I've been in a relationship for the last 3 months and it's going really well.
I've been able to reflect on how far along I am on my path to healing by seeing how far along my new gf is. She was cheated on too. It's been 3 years for her. She still has anxiety over being cheated on. I have those worries to but not to the extent that she experiences them.
My family thinks I shouldn't be dating right now but I disagree. I feel total indifference to my ex. I'm overall happy. After DDay I did some IC and support groups but stopped because the support groups were depressing me further. After seeing people who were worse off than me I vowed to live the rest of my life happy. I wrote my goodbye letter and I posted here for help. I chose not to let her have any control over my happiness.
That brings me to my question. I keep reading and hearing that it takes years to heal from an affair. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me? I don't have triggers. I've been to restaurants that we've been to before and I'm still able to enjoy the food. I've been to weddings and I don't feel down. I see my ex when I drop off the kids and all I feel is sorry for her. I don't miss her. The only time I feel down about the situation is when I think about my 2 kids going back and forth between two homes. The marriage seems like a distant memory to me.
TLDR; I feel that I'm over the affair. Is it to soon to feel this?
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