For the past year or so things have been very tough in my personal life. I have had to deal with a chronic illness, and during this i felt my husband wasn't very supportive. I constantly told my husband how i felt and he kept saying that he was being supportive, and eventually i just stopped sharing my concerns/worries with him and started getting on with things myself. As all this was going on i started to resent him and started feeling very disconnected from him. He also travels a lot, so i felt the distance just pushed more of a void between us.
I have also been feeling very unfulfilled in my life. We moved to a new area and i have no friends and no one to really hang out with or talk to. I have been keeping all of my feeling suppressed and it has been really eating away at me. My husband and i got married pretty young and i have started to feel like i made a mistake marrying him so young. I think i have matured and changed a lot as a person since we got married, and i feel like i have missed out, i am still only in my late 20's. Now i look back on my life i don't think i have ever had really good sex either. My husband and i do have sex but i don't ever really feel satisfied. I have told him what i like, but he is pretty inexperienced as he hasn't been with many girls.
One day i was feeling pretty lonely and down and i had a suggestion of people i may know on Facebook, one being this guy i used to be friends with and had a major crush on back in the day. It has been many years since we last spoke, so i sent him a request. We started talking for a few weeks and i opened up and told him things in my marriage haven't been that great. He started flirting a lot and being pretty suggestive. At first i told him to stop, but then i caved. We talked for about a week about meeting up to have an NSA type thing, but then the feelings i had for him before starting to come back. I have never done a No strings attached thing with any guy ever, so it felt a bit wrong to me, but i thought that maybe a little fling is what i needed to fill the void i feel in me. I told the guy that i was considering ending the marriage because i have tried for months to fix things, but i feel the feelings i had for him are gone. He said as long as i was mentally disconnected from my husband that was fine with him.
So after a few days this guy starts to reply less and less, and then eventually says he doesn't want to sleep around and it is awkward being i am married, and he doesn't want to go through with it anymore. He said he found me very attractive, but had no romantic feelings for me, but he didn't want us to stop talking and really cares about our friendship, and would text me later seems he was at work.
He never text me, and after 5 days i told him that i really cared about our friendship also, and felt that what we had talked about had changed things, and i was just in a vulnerable state being in a marriage that is on the rocks, and i don't want to come across like an awful person being i am still married, and no reply. After trying to reach out a few times and being upright ignored, i removed him off Facebook. I later regretted doing so and re-added him. Pathetic i know, and of course he ignored the request.
So i told this whole story as i desperately need advice:
1) Should i tell my husband that i talked to this guy and both of us were being very suggestive towards each other? We talked about things we wanted to do sexually with each other, and although we never met and did these things, i still feel very guilty regardless of feeling i fell out of love with my husband. I constantly fantasize daily about sex with the other guy.
2) Do you think this could just be a phase? I have tried for a year now to work and change how i feel and fall back in love with him, but i am not sure if a year is long enough to say i tried and walk away. Regardless of all my feelings, i don't want to walk away and regret things. My emotions are all over the place right now.
3) I feel totally gutted that i ruined my friendship with this other guy and blame myself. Now i feel like he just sees me as some girl who was willing to mess around with another guy while married, and i really don't want him to see me this way. We have never done anything sexually with each other, and i really care about my friendships, especially as i don't have many close friends. Some people think that his goal was to sleep with me and then i came on too strong. Do you think i should blame myself for him ignoring me and stopping talking to me? Do you think i did all i could to save the friendship and should just leave it alone now? After him ignoring me and not talking to me for over a month now, i still fantasize about him every day sexually.
I just don't know what to do at all. I do not work currently so every day i constantly dwell on the whole situation, and feel very lonely and unfulfilled in my life. I wonder if i will ever truly have happiness again, because right now i feel like i won't, and i just don't know what to do. My lack of feelings for my husband have made me act in ways that i don't feel are me at all. I have never cheated before in a relationship, it just isn't me at all. I don't know why i was even considering this with this other guy. I am disappointed in myself and feel ashamed. Sorry this is so long but i wanted to include everything.
I have also been feeling very unfulfilled in my life. We moved to a new area and i have no friends and no one to really hang out with or talk to. I have been keeping all of my feeling suppressed and it has been really eating away at me. My husband and i got married pretty young and i have started to feel like i made a mistake marrying him so young. I think i have matured and changed a lot as a person since we got married, and i feel like i have missed out, i am still only in my late 20's. Now i look back on my life i don't think i have ever had really good sex either. My husband and i do have sex but i don't ever really feel satisfied. I have told him what i like, but he is pretty inexperienced as he hasn't been with many girls.
One day i was feeling pretty lonely and down and i had a suggestion of people i may know on Facebook, one being this guy i used to be friends with and had a major crush on back in the day. It has been many years since we last spoke, so i sent him a request. We started talking for a few weeks and i opened up and told him things in my marriage haven't been that great. He started flirting a lot and being pretty suggestive. At first i told him to stop, but then i caved. We talked for about a week about meeting up to have an NSA type thing, but then the feelings i had for him before starting to come back. I have never done a No strings attached thing with any guy ever, so it felt a bit wrong to me, but i thought that maybe a little fling is what i needed to fill the void i feel in me. I told the guy that i was considering ending the marriage because i have tried for months to fix things, but i feel the feelings i had for him are gone. He said as long as i was mentally disconnected from my husband that was fine with him.
So after a few days this guy starts to reply less and less, and then eventually says he doesn't want to sleep around and it is awkward being i am married, and he doesn't want to go through with it anymore. He said he found me very attractive, but had no romantic feelings for me, but he didn't want us to stop talking and really cares about our friendship, and would text me later seems he was at work.
He never text me, and after 5 days i told him that i really cared about our friendship also, and felt that what we had talked about had changed things, and i was just in a vulnerable state being in a marriage that is on the rocks, and i don't want to come across like an awful person being i am still married, and no reply. After trying to reach out a few times and being upright ignored, i removed him off Facebook. I later regretted doing so and re-added him. Pathetic i know, and of course he ignored the request.
So i told this whole story as i desperately need advice:
1) Should i tell my husband that i talked to this guy and both of us were being very suggestive towards each other? We talked about things we wanted to do sexually with each other, and although we never met and did these things, i still feel very guilty regardless of feeling i fell out of love with my husband. I constantly fantasize daily about sex with the other guy.
2) Do you think this could just be a phase? I have tried for a year now to work and change how i feel and fall back in love with him, but i am not sure if a year is long enough to say i tried and walk away. Regardless of all my feelings, i don't want to walk away and regret things. My emotions are all over the place right now.
3) I feel totally gutted that i ruined my friendship with this other guy and blame myself. Now i feel like he just sees me as some girl who was willing to mess around with another guy while married, and i really don't want him to see me this way. We have never done anything sexually with each other, and i really care about my friendships, especially as i don't have many close friends. Some people think that his goal was to sleep with me and then i came on too strong. Do you think i should blame myself for him ignoring me and stopping talking to me? Do you think i did all i could to save the friendship and should just leave it alone now? After him ignoring me and not talking to me for over a month now, i still fantasize about him every day sexually.
I just don't know what to do at all. I do not work currently so every day i constantly dwell on the whole situation, and feel very lonely and unfulfilled in my life. I wonder if i will ever truly have happiness again, because right now i feel like i won't, and i just don't know what to do. My lack of feelings for my husband have made me act in ways that i don't feel are me at all. I have never cheated before in a relationship, it just isn't me at all. I don't know why i was even considering this with this other guy. I am disappointed in myself and feel ashamed. Sorry this is so long but i wanted to include everything.
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