Hi TSR,
After reading the open and honest responses to similar threads, I've plucked up the courage to seek opinions about something I've never dared discuss:
For my entire life, I've always assumed that I would grow up, maybe have one or two girlfriends before hooking up with the girl of my dreams (well, in an ideal world ;)). But essentially I was always straight, and as I hit the early teenage years I started feeling little stirrings of attraction to certain girls. I never once even considered the idea of a relationship - emotional or sexual - with a guy. It's not that I found the idea of homosexuality "repulsive" or anything like that, it just didn't seem right for me.
Here comes the inevitable "but": as most teenagers do, I eventually discovered porn, masturbation and all that. And it's safe to say I went a bit OTT, not doing it multiple times a day, but I started needing more hardcore stuff to get much out of it. And here submissive desires I never really knew I had started to come out and I started to fantasise about being on the receiving end of the more hardcore stuff. Essentially I started to be more turned on by gay sex and other similar stuff than I was by straight porn.
Let me just clarify: emotionally I have no attraction to guys, I don't "check them out" in the changing room or find them physically attractive. I can't imagine myself in a long-term relationship with a man, it would just feel to awkward for me and I am much more emotionally interested in girls. I'm not saying I'm not at all turned on by a straight encounter, I just feel slightly more turned on by gay fantasies. Nowadays I've seen that porn is having a negative impact on me, by leaving me to constantly question my sexuality and by invading my thoughts too much, so I've cut down hard. This uncertainty is still getting me down, it all boils down to the fact that I am attracted to girls in every single way, apart from I am slightly more turned on guys sexually. So what's your opinion, am I gay, straight, bi or anything else? Thanks in advance.
PS: I apologise for the rambling post, I have a lot to get off my chest :p
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