Ok, so my husband and I are doing much better than we previously were, however, we still struggle with issues.
One of the issues we have somewhat overcome is my husband's participation in the household. My husband is now cleaning and cooking more regularly except he only does so if we're both doing it at the same time and I usually have to assign him tasks. He will never do any cleaning on his own or just because. I find this a little irritating because I work full time while he is only part time and I feel that he could use this extra time he has off to benefit the family by helping out more.
For instance I get home at 530 while he is home at 415, I feel like he could use that to start making dinner so it's either cooking when I get home or it's ready. We actually had a conversation about this last night. My husband is going biking with his brother after work today at 5 and told me he expects to be home at 7. I told him 630 so WE could make dinner together and eat at 7. He responded, "Well, you can cook it and have it ready for me at 7." I probably would have no problem with the 2nd scenario, however, my husband never has dinner ready for me EVER no matter the circumstances. I could be coming home late from work and he won't start dinner or do any cleaning until I am home. If I'm running super late we usually resort to eating elsewhere or take out. It would just be really nice to have supper ready for me.
So my question is; how do I get my husband do things on his own without initiating first or giving him some type of reward? I just want him to do things without being told because sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and worn out by all the stuff I have to do on a daily basis. I was also a little peeved that he expects dinner ready for him tonight when he gets home but I can't get the same courtesy.
One of the issues we have somewhat overcome is my husband's participation in the household. My husband is now cleaning and cooking more regularly except he only does so if we're both doing it at the same time and I usually have to assign him tasks. He will never do any cleaning on his own or just because. I find this a little irritating because I work full time while he is only part time and I feel that he could use this extra time he has off to benefit the family by helping out more.
For instance I get home at 530 while he is home at 415, I feel like he could use that to start making dinner so it's either cooking when I get home or it's ready. We actually had a conversation about this last night. My husband is going biking with his brother after work today at 5 and told me he expects to be home at 7. I told him 630 so WE could make dinner together and eat at 7. He responded, "Well, you can cook it and have it ready for me at 7." I probably would have no problem with the 2nd scenario, however, my husband never has dinner ready for me EVER no matter the circumstances. I could be coming home late from work and he won't start dinner or do any cleaning until I am home. If I'm running super late we usually resort to eating elsewhere or take out. It would just be really nice to have supper ready for me.
So my question is; how do I get my husband do things on his own without initiating first or giving him some type of reward? I just want him to do things without being told because sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and worn out by all the stuff I have to do on a daily basis. I was also a little peeved that he expects dinner ready for him tonight when he gets home but I can't get the same courtesy.
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