Hello Friends,
I'm a 35yo Male. Married almost 10 years w/ 7yo daughter. Non religous. Landed my post Army career job (couldn't ask for better) after serving 9 years. Still in Reserves. I'm Debt free and $$ Saved. My wife and I have been separated for the last 5 years and living apart, separate everything. We have no joint property or belongings. We been in divorce limbo the last 2 years, I filed. A combination of Child support and visitation rights has froze me up. We had 2 finalization dates but both delayed, once from me allowing her last minute extention for health concerns and the other because my lawyer had incomplete info on decree when she went to sign (I know, crappy lawyer). We have both dated during this time (me more than her). We remain civil. We both became tired of searching for others, so I suggested marriage counseling and she's on board. I really want us to fully understand what our wants and needs are and weither we are really meant for one another or just better off as f riends/co-parents. I still see my daughter everyday.
So, that's a little of my back story. I've been getting therapy for depression almost a year and being treated. My symptoms are pretty much withdrawal and lack of interest issues. I'm quiet, kind, soft spoken, and overall a nice guy. This I know.
Other than my marriage in limbo, I feel I have already accomplished all I have set for. I have NO continuation goals. I'm fit and healthy. So, I work my 9 to 5, than spend the evenings around my daughter. I have no friends (my choice) or activities/hobbies I enjoy doing or get the motivation to try to do. I rarely talk to family and old friends, out of habit. I just keep to myself. Things I use to do I stopped, basically out of boredom, or been there, tried that. I'm just a simple, even boring guy, but still know how to have fun and smile and stay energetic when need be, especially around my daughter.
I'm just in this funk I cannot seem to shake. I really just don't know what to do with my free time. I can't stand sitting around watching the tube or surfing the net, but these seem to be the easy options at times. I know the answers... Get out the house, do something, look for groups, people with similar interest. I wanna find activities for my daughter and I to do together. Most of the time, I'll take her to the park or other places surrounded by kids and let her play. We just don't do enough one on one activities. Mom is not that very active with her, so there's that. She seems to rather be on FB or watching reality TV. She's also has a well established career. We are both doing well. We just lack communication and common ground.
Everything I'm sharing here, my therapist is well aware of. I've even considered switching to someone else because I feel she's somewhat ineffective. I know it's a team effort and I must put in the work to see results. I have made progress. I'm just stagnant.
I Know the answer and strength is within me, and advice is just that, but I need some, so please, any suggestions on what steps I can take to get out into the world and start LIVING instead of EXISTING, would greatly help. Something I can do for me, something I can do with my daughter, and even something I can do with the Mrs.
I don't drink, smoke, no tats, not a sports fan, no video games, no hidden talents. I enjoy music and doing karaoke with my medicore voice!
No guns or outdoor hobbies. I'm not materialistic or desire the finer things. Basic simple survival things is all I need... Roof, clothes, food, water, bed, couch, desk, computer, phone and car. Money isn't important, as long as I can provide for my daughter and myself, no more no less.
Again, thanks for the ears, thoughts and suggestions. Take care and Chat soon.
I'm a 35yo Male. Married almost 10 years w/ 7yo daughter. Non religous. Landed my post Army career job (couldn't ask for better) after serving 9 years. Still in Reserves. I'm Debt free and $$ Saved. My wife and I have been separated for the last 5 years and living apart, separate everything. We have no joint property or belongings. We been in divorce limbo the last 2 years, I filed. A combination of Child support and visitation rights has froze me up. We had 2 finalization dates but both delayed, once from me allowing her last minute extention for health concerns and the other because my lawyer had incomplete info on decree when she went to sign (I know, crappy lawyer). We have both dated during this time (me more than her). We remain civil. We both became tired of searching for others, so I suggested marriage counseling and she's on board. I really want us to fully understand what our wants and needs are and weither we are really meant for one another or just better off as f riends/co-parents. I still see my daughter everyday.
So, that's a little of my back story. I've been getting therapy for depression almost a year and being treated. My symptoms are pretty much withdrawal and lack of interest issues. I'm quiet, kind, soft spoken, and overall a nice guy. This I know.
Other than my marriage in limbo, I feel I have already accomplished all I have set for. I have NO continuation goals. I'm fit and healthy. So, I work my 9 to 5, than spend the evenings around my daughter. I have no friends (my choice) or activities/hobbies I enjoy doing or get the motivation to try to do. I rarely talk to family and old friends, out of habit. I just keep to myself. Things I use to do I stopped, basically out of boredom, or been there, tried that. I'm just a simple, even boring guy, but still know how to have fun and smile and stay energetic when need be, especially around my daughter.
I'm just in this funk I cannot seem to shake. I really just don't know what to do with my free time. I can't stand sitting around watching the tube or surfing the net, but these seem to be the easy options at times. I know the answers... Get out the house, do something, look for groups, people with similar interest. I wanna find activities for my daughter and I to do together. Most of the time, I'll take her to the park or other places surrounded by kids and let her play. We just don't do enough one on one activities. Mom is not that very active with her, so there's that. She seems to rather be on FB or watching reality TV. She's also has a well established career. We are both doing well. We just lack communication and common ground.
Everything I'm sharing here, my therapist is well aware of. I've even considered switching to someone else because I feel she's somewhat ineffective. I know it's a team effort and I must put in the work to see results. I have made progress. I'm just stagnant.
I Know the answer and strength is within me, and advice is just that, but I need some, so please, any suggestions on what steps I can take to get out into the world and start LIVING instead of EXISTING, would greatly help. Something I can do for me, something I can do with my daughter, and even something I can do with the Mrs.
I don't drink, smoke, no tats, not a sports fan, no video games, no hidden talents. I enjoy music and doing karaoke with my medicore voice!
No guns or outdoor hobbies. I'm not materialistic or desire the finer things. Basic simple survival things is all I need... Roof, clothes, food, water, bed, couch, desk, computer, phone and car. Money isn't important, as long as I can provide for my daughter and myself, no more no less.
Again, thanks for the ears, thoughts and suggestions. Take care and Chat soon.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment