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Just found out husband has 16 yr old we never knew about

My husband and I have been together for 19 years, and were just married about a year ago. We have definitely had our ups and downs, and fair share of betrayals. However, this most recent discovery has been very hard to take. A few months back my husband was served with paperwork naming him the father of a 16 yr old girl. He hid this from me until one day i got the mail only to discover a subpeona to submit for DNA testing. Long story short he was hiding it because he was scared i would want a divorce, and yes he is the father. He claims it was a 1 night stand 17 yrs ago drunk at a party..of course he was cheating. Turns out the kid lives 15 minutes away from us and our own 2 kids, and has been in the custody of her grandparents for most of her life since her mom is a complete waste. My problem here is that I am completely crushed! I am angry, and resentful and feel like the cheating and lies just happened yesterday. He met her for the 1st time tonight an d is feeling relieved and i think excited to know her. He feels bad for the way her life has been. My kids dont even know what to think, and i feel like a part of him is leaving me and our family. The distance between us seems like a chasm, and all we are doing is fighting. After knowing about this for 4 months he just now asked me tonight if i wanted to know her. Am i that insignificant to him, that this finally occurs to him now? Where is my place in all this? I feel betrayed, abandoned and broken! I feel like he has taken my family away from me and there is nothing to do about it. I feel completely left out and separate from him, as if he is a stranger. I know he is doing what he has to do, but I feel like our family and marriage are just the roadkill as he rides off into this new part of his life.

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