Hi
I met my sisters in law after we had been together and lived together for about 2 years. They live in another country, when he is a foreigner. I lived with him and his family for about 1 month when we went to visit them and I blamed a lot on culture. Now I dont think it is that easy to blame the culture anylonger, when I know the culture better and it is basically like western culture, with some twists and things that has happened since making that conclution dosent seem normal.
When I met them at first they were nice, I developed really good relation with one of them and appreicated it very much. With the other sister it was harder, when she was darker in her ways and more manipulative, but I thaught we wore ok.
Before we left and lived with his family, I later found out that they talked on the internett basically everyday. He told me on many many many ocations that he didnt want to join me visiting friends and different things, when he said he wanted to relax. Boring, but hey.... so I let it go. He also used to talk negative about his younger sister which he chatted with almost everyday.
After getting to know them and getting some sort of relathionship with them, i was in for a dissapointment. They never took and still do not take the initiativ and write, talk etc. The sister I thaught I had a good relathionship with blocked my phone nr. And this I know for a fact. I once made a call from my fiancees phone, before I realised she had blocked my number. I said, hi, how are you? (when I was thinking it was going to be nice to catch up) she started stressing from the second she heard it was me, where is he, is he ok, and kept repeating this endlessly, I just gave him the phone. After they had talked for a while, they continued chatting online like nothing had happened. I went to the bath and cried my eyes out. He went to her defence.
ok...
when he is calling his family on skype, she talks and acts normal when he sits in front of the camera, but when i get there she leaves and refuses to talk. (???)
I asked him for a heart necklace as a birthday gift, he refused to buy me one, when he said he didnt like hearts... when his younger sister had her graduation at age 23, we went to a store to buy her something, and this was not long after the incident, he pointed at a heart necklace and said it was nice and that we should buy it for her. I asked him first gently, are you sure? he was positive, this escaleted at a later date to a full blown argument. I refused to buy her such a gift, so we didnt.
she has blocked me on facebook in such a way that we are friends, but i cant see her history and so forth. I know this cause I was on his facebook, when we have this sort of relathionship. After we posted a picture of us both on his facebook, she blocked him aswell....
she gets angry if they dont speak, he dosent do it daily anymore, now its not often at all, and she gets really upset, angry and in return refuses to talk with him for a period of time.
yesterday when he was talking on skype with his family, his parents wanted to see me and say hi, when we have a good relathionship(as far as I know atleast), so I decided to join them. when we were finnished talking to them his mother asked her to come and talk to him on skype, she refused, then the mother started laughing and continuesly asked her, hey, he is here, talk to him, why not and so on. First she got upset, then she got soo angry and started yelling. After that all went silent, we were sitting in front of the camera and it was totally weird. The other sister came in front of the camera and said she was going to call someone, looking dark eyed and strange. He asked me what happens now, I said I think that was that, it might be that they are waiting for you to hang up. It was just too weird with no goodbyes and anything. He got stressed and uncomfortable and decided to hang up.
I seriously dont know what is going on or what I have done to set this in motion. I have felt all kind of emotions regarding this. disapointment, sorrow, confusion and so on. I really dont know what is going on and why they are like this. The sister I perseaved as darker and manipulative has suddenly lost the ability to speak english she says... If im not wanted, I wont bother them, which I in no way do. I have stopped contacting them a while back. I have asked him about it, but he has always defended them and said im too sensitive, but yesterday he got proof as to what I have been going through with them, he just looked at me with wide eyes after he ended skype.
I told him I understand more than you know and im not blind. The conversation started and ended there, when I have been trying to make him see this from my point of view for some years now.
there are just so many situations and they are and its his family, so they will always be a part of his life. When they come to visit they will stay with us and so forth.
I really dont know how this happened or what to do. I am just pretending that all is normal at the moment and try not to have to much to do with them. His brother, I only talked to him once on skype, turned away when I talked, ignoring me completely and didnt answer. He was defended as a shy person.
Any input would be great. I can not ask or confront them in any way about this, I have tried gently and descreetly and get nowhere. I even asked bluntly once and it was nothing, was told that it was just a misunderstanding. So I really need to know how to handle this and when they come to visit and on family occasion and so forth.
All his sibling are in the mid 20s to early 30s, so no teenagers here
Thank you
I met my sisters in law after we had been together and lived together for about 2 years. They live in another country, when he is a foreigner. I lived with him and his family for about 1 month when we went to visit them and I blamed a lot on culture. Now I dont think it is that easy to blame the culture anylonger, when I know the culture better and it is basically like western culture, with some twists and things that has happened since making that conclution dosent seem normal.
When I met them at first they were nice, I developed really good relation with one of them and appreicated it very much. With the other sister it was harder, when she was darker in her ways and more manipulative, but I thaught we wore ok.
Before we left and lived with his family, I later found out that they talked on the internett basically everyday. He told me on many many many ocations that he didnt want to join me visiting friends and different things, when he said he wanted to relax. Boring, but hey.... so I let it go. He also used to talk negative about his younger sister which he chatted with almost everyday.
After getting to know them and getting some sort of relathionship with them, i was in for a dissapointment. They never took and still do not take the initiativ and write, talk etc. The sister I thaught I had a good relathionship with blocked my phone nr. And this I know for a fact. I once made a call from my fiancees phone, before I realised she had blocked my number. I said, hi, how are you? (when I was thinking it was going to be nice to catch up) she started stressing from the second she heard it was me, where is he, is he ok, and kept repeating this endlessly, I just gave him the phone. After they had talked for a while, they continued chatting online like nothing had happened. I went to the bath and cried my eyes out. He went to her defence.
ok...
when he is calling his family on skype, she talks and acts normal when he sits in front of the camera, but when i get there she leaves and refuses to talk. (???)
I asked him for a heart necklace as a birthday gift, he refused to buy me one, when he said he didnt like hearts... when his younger sister had her graduation at age 23, we went to a store to buy her something, and this was not long after the incident, he pointed at a heart necklace and said it was nice and that we should buy it for her. I asked him first gently, are you sure? he was positive, this escaleted at a later date to a full blown argument. I refused to buy her such a gift, so we didnt.
she has blocked me on facebook in such a way that we are friends, but i cant see her history and so forth. I know this cause I was on his facebook, when we have this sort of relathionship. After we posted a picture of us both on his facebook, she blocked him aswell....
she gets angry if they dont speak, he dosent do it daily anymore, now its not often at all, and she gets really upset, angry and in return refuses to talk with him for a period of time.
yesterday when he was talking on skype with his family, his parents wanted to see me and say hi, when we have a good relathionship(as far as I know atleast), so I decided to join them. when we were finnished talking to them his mother asked her to come and talk to him on skype, she refused, then the mother started laughing and continuesly asked her, hey, he is here, talk to him, why not and so on. First she got upset, then she got soo angry and started yelling. After that all went silent, we were sitting in front of the camera and it was totally weird. The other sister came in front of the camera and said she was going to call someone, looking dark eyed and strange. He asked me what happens now, I said I think that was that, it might be that they are waiting for you to hang up. It was just too weird with no goodbyes and anything. He got stressed and uncomfortable and decided to hang up.
I seriously dont know what is going on or what I have done to set this in motion. I have felt all kind of emotions regarding this. disapointment, sorrow, confusion and so on. I really dont know what is going on and why they are like this. The sister I perseaved as darker and manipulative has suddenly lost the ability to speak english she says... If im not wanted, I wont bother them, which I in no way do. I have stopped contacting them a while back. I have asked him about it, but he has always defended them and said im too sensitive, but yesterday he got proof as to what I have been going through with them, he just looked at me with wide eyes after he ended skype.
I told him I understand more than you know and im not blind. The conversation started and ended there, when I have been trying to make him see this from my point of view for some years now.
there are just so many situations and they are and its his family, so they will always be a part of his life. When they come to visit they will stay with us and so forth.
I really dont know how this happened or what to do. I am just pretending that all is normal at the moment and try not to have to much to do with them. His brother, I only talked to him once on skype, turned away when I talked, ignoring me completely and didnt answer. He was defended as a shy person.
Any input would be great. I can not ask or confront them in any way about this, I have tried gently and descreetly and get nowhere. I even asked bluntly once and it was nothing, was told that it was just a misunderstanding. So I really need to know how to handle this and when they come to visit and on family occasion and so forth.
All his sibling are in the mid 20s to early 30s, so no teenagers here
Thank you
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment