I wanted to share my story and get some perspective and opinions on my situation. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and together for 10 years. My trust in him has always been infallible when it comes to cheating and inappropriate behavior with other women. Then, my husband went on a work trip. This was a "reward type" vacation for the employee's hard work, not any business or meetings were taking place. Pretty much pure employee fraternization for 4 days.
After he left for the trip I had this sick sense that he was going to cheat or come close. Well, I didn't say anything to him while he was gone because it was so unlike me. I never worried before. The night he got back, we put the kids to bed and then he dropped the bomb on me. A female coworker kissed him and he stopped it right away. His story claims that everyone was hanging out in a group at bars in town and when the bars closed, they went back to the hotel where everyone was staying. A small group gathered in this woman's hotel room, and continued to party until 5am drinking. The group dwindled down, during which my husband passed out on the couch in her hotel room. When the last guy left (leaving just my husband and this woman) my husband heard the door close, woke up, found her out on the patio, where she was upset and crying and then she started kissing him on the lips, not just a peck. He immediately pulled away and said "no, this is not okay" and left. He called his coworker that just left and said wait up for me so we can walk back to our rooms on the other side of the resort together. It all happened very fast.
So, a little backstory. This woman who kissed him recently transferred jobs into his division. He had not known her long, only a couple of months. They had only talked at the office and this was the first time that they hung out. He admitted to me that he was so drunk that night, he didn't even remember leaving the bar and only has pieces of most of the hotel room. He cannot fully account for all of his behaviors because he had been drinking all night. He doesn't think he was flirting, but admits that he was feeling good about himself. He thought that he was safe because everybody in the group was married, including her. The next morning, they ran into each other at the pool and both said last night was crazy and we were drunk, lets never mention it again. He came home crazed and upset and said that he found the whole thing disgusting and it made his skin crawl to think about it.
I feel that he did the right thing by stopping it right away and leaving, but some things still bother me. He cannot account for some portions of the night due to alcohol. He does not want to ask any coworkers about his behavior that he cannot account for or hers and raise suspicions or make a work issue of it. Why was he left in that hotel room with her? did the last guy who left figure that my husband wanted to be there? Did she say, just leave him? I told him that he obviously did something to make her think that he wanted it. Why was he with her until 5am, obviously he enjoyed her company all night long, otherwise he would have left. What if he would have had another drink and not stopped? He admits that all this was stupid and his mistake and he is so sorry and loves me so much and could not live with this secret.
Is this cheating? I welcome all advice. Hanging out with a group of people and then choosing to still hang out with her and others until 5am. Being in her hotel room until dawn. Married men don't behave like this and I was the last thing on his mind all night. What do you think? Is he a good guy or should I be furious?
After he left for the trip I had this sick sense that he was going to cheat or come close. Well, I didn't say anything to him while he was gone because it was so unlike me. I never worried before. The night he got back, we put the kids to bed and then he dropped the bomb on me. A female coworker kissed him and he stopped it right away. His story claims that everyone was hanging out in a group at bars in town and when the bars closed, they went back to the hotel where everyone was staying. A small group gathered in this woman's hotel room, and continued to party until 5am drinking. The group dwindled down, during which my husband passed out on the couch in her hotel room. When the last guy left (leaving just my husband and this woman) my husband heard the door close, woke up, found her out on the patio, where she was upset and crying and then she started kissing him on the lips, not just a peck. He immediately pulled away and said "no, this is not okay" and left. He called his coworker that just left and said wait up for me so we can walk back to our rooms on the other side of the resort together. It all happened very fast.
So, a little backstory. This woman who kissed him recently transferred jobs into his division. He had not known her long, only a couple of months. They had only talked at the office and this was the first time that they hung out. He admitted to me that he was so drunk that night, he didn't even remember leaving the bar and only has pieces of most of the hotel room. He cannot fully account for all of his behaviors because he had been drinking all night. He doesn't think he was flirting, but admits that he was feeling good about himself. He thought that he was safe because everybody in the group was married, including her. The next morning, they ran into each other at the pool and both said last night was crazy and we were drunk, lets never mention it again. He came home crazed and upset and said that he found the whole thing disgusting and it made his skin crawl to think about it.
I feel that he did the right thing by stopping it right away and leaving, but some things still bother me. He cannot account for some portions of the night due to alcohol. He does not want to ask any coworkers about his behavior that he cannot account for or hers and raise suspicions or make a work issue of it. Why was he left in that hotel room with her? did the last guy who left figure that my husband wanted to be there? Did she say, just leave him? I told him that he obviously did something to make her think that he wanted it. Why was he with her until 5am, obviously he enjoyed her company all night long, otherwise he would have left. What if he would have had another drink and not stopped? He admits that all this was stupid and his mistake and he is so sorry and loves me so much and could not live with this secret.
Is this cheating? I welcome all advice. Hanging out with a group of people and then choosing to still hang out with her and others until 5am. Being in her hotel room until dawn. Married men don't behave like this and I was the last thing on his mind all night. What do you think? Is he a good guy or should I be furious?
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