My boyfriend doesn't enjoy sex with me, but he refuses to give me any tips or clues about what I can do. I know that it's not an issue of libido as he touches himself everyday (although he says he uses his imagination, so addiction to porn isn't the problem), and talks about sex a lot with his friends.
I was a virgin when I met him whereas he'd had two girlfriends and a string of one night stands so he's much more experienced than me, and I'm constantly worrying that I'm not good enough, but then I don't know how to improve. I read sex tips on the internet but I never know if they're working for him or not, or if I'm doing them right. It's all just a bit of a disaster.
We only have sex about once a fortnight, and I asked him about why it was so little a while ago and he said nothing was wrong until I pushed him and he admitted that he just didn't enjoy it with me. So I asked him what I could do and he said he didn't know. During sex I try to ask him if he's enjoying something or he'd like me to do something different and he's just like, 'yeah, sure', rather than being enthusiastic. He really clams up if I ask him whether he liked something, or if he'd like to try something new, or if I say 'I enjoyed sex last night'. It's really obvious that I'm doing something wrong.
I can just tell that he doesn't enjoy it, and I feel completely useless and unattractive. I know sex tips aren't allowed but do you have any tips for how I can deal with this?
For the record, I'm not unattractive myself, and he's called me pretty and said he loves my body, although I guess it's always possible that he doesn't find me attractive. I dressed up for him once and he really liked that, but with other things I've tried he's turned his nose up, as a result I'm scared to try new things for fear of rejection. I'm terrified that every time he's with me he's wishing I'm someone else.
What do I do?
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