Hey TAM,
It's been a while since I've been on here. The last time I was on here I was struggling with dating/rescuing younger, immature women. Lesson learned on that one.
My latest dating news? I'm not dating anyone nor am I actively pursuing dating like I was months ago. Trying too hard can make things more complicated than they have to be. Cancelled my subscription to eHarmony too. For now, I'm focusing my efforts back on my kids and myself.
So things have been congenial between my EX and I since her brother's wedding back in October. The kids went to visit her just after X-mas and she invited me to visit part of the time during the holidays. So I did. :scratchhead:
Yes, I know you're probably thinking WTF? However, I honestly feel that I've put to rest a lot of my anger and resentment towards what she did. I know many people want nothing to do with their EXs. But because we have kids, I don't want to follow that hard-lined path if it's not necessary.
I wanted to spend time with my kids during the holiday. And I felt it would be another step towards building a better partnership for our kids to see.
And here is where things reminded me of who I divorced. (LOL)
So I arrive and things go fine. The next day, our kids, her and I are snow tubing at a little resort outside of town. And it's getting late. We decide to pick up pizza on the way back to town. She hands me her phone to see what type of pizza I'd like to order. And then a text message pops up on the screen. It says " I love you". Ugh. And guess who it was from? The OM from 3 years ago. The same POSOM who went running back to his wife. To say some hidden PTSD suddenly came to the surface would be a correct assessment. The same thing happened in Oct 2011 when she visited while we were separated. Nearly the exact same thing! It was like the man upstairs was trying to tell me something.
The text disappeared and the menu was all that was on the screen. I handed the phone back and said I didn't care what pizza we ordered and I went outside. Later that night, with the kids asleep, and before leaving to my hotel she tells me how things have been hard. How she's not dating anyone (ha, really?) and is lonely. How she'd love to have the kids move up and I can too (never in a million years).
How she struggles and that she fears she's ending up like her mom (manic depressive who passed away in 2003). She sobbed and cried for the next hour or two while I just sat there stone faced. She popped some anxiety pills to sleep and I left.
At the airport, I contacted OM's wife and she tells me they are divorcing and was suspicious that they were back again. She didn't care. She was focused on finally divorcing the POS.
She then contacts me in late March to tell me he broke it off with my EX for the third time and is dating some other woman.
All of this told me my EX is still a broken down woman. Someone who still struggles with her emotional demons, who is desperate enough to go out with her AP from years ago only to be kicked to the curb a 3rd time. It's all unhealthy. And I am NOT rescuing her.
She recently told me she is going to a class about building confidence. Good. The best of luck to her. But she's on her own because I have my own life and I'm working on improving MY script. Not someone else's.
Ok. Just wanted to share with someone and get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
It's been a while since I've been on here. The last time I was on here I was struggling with dating/rescuing younger, immature women. Lesson learned on that one.
My latest dating news? I'm not dating anyone nor am I actively pursuing dating like I was months ago. Trying too hard can make things more complicated than they have to be. Cancelled my subscription to eHarmony too. For now, I'm focusing my efforts back on my kids and myself.
So things have been congenial between my EX and I since her brother's wedding back in October. The kids went to visit her just after X-mas and she invited me to visit part of the time during the holidays. So I did. :scratchhead:
Yes, I know you're probably thinking WTF? However, I honestly feel that I've put to rest a lot of my anger and resentment towards what she did. I know many people want nothing to do with their EXs. But because we have kids, I don't want to follow that hard-lined path if it's not necessary.
I wanted to spend time with my kids during the holiday. And I felt it would be another step towards building a better partnership for our kids to see.
And here is where things reminded me of who I divorced. (LOL)
So I arrive and things go fine. The next day, our kids, her and I are snow tubing at a little resort outside of town. And it's getting late. We decide to pick up pizza on the way back to town. She hands me her phone to see what type of pizza I'd like to order. And then a text message pops up on the screen. It says " I love you". Ugh. And guess who it was from? The OM from 3 years ago. The same POSOM who went running back to his wife. To say some hidden PTSD suddenly came to the surface would be a correct assessment. The same thing happened in Oct 2011 when she visited while we were separated. Nearly the exact same thing! It was like the man upstairs was trying to tell me something.
The text disappeared and the menu was all that was on the screen. I handed the phone back and said I didn't care what pizza we ordered and I went outside. Later that night, with the kids asleep, and before leaving to my hotel she tells me how things have been hard. How she's not dating anyone (ha, really?) and is lonely. How she'd love to have the kids move up and I can too (never in a million years).
How she struggles and that she fears she's ending up like her mom (manic depressive who passed away in 2003). She sobbed and cried for the next hour or two while I just sat there stone faced. She popped some anxiety pills to sleep and I left.
At the airport, I contacted OM's wife and she tells me they are divorcing and was suspicious that they were back again. She didn't care. She was focused on finally divorcing the POS.
She then contacts me in late March to tell me he broke it off with my EX for the third time and is dating some other woman.
All of this told me my EX is still a broken down woman. Someone who still struggles with her emotional demons, who is desperate enough to go out with her AP from years ago only to be kicked to the curb a 3rd time. It's all unhealthy. And I am NOT rescuing her.
She recently told me she is going to a class about building confidence. Good. The best of luck to her. But she's on her own because I have my own life and I'm working on improving MY script. Not someone else's.
Ok. Just wanted to share with someone and get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
Put the internet to work for you.
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