So I'm a 21 year old girl and I'm still a virgin and have never had a relationship. The reasoning isn't straightforward - I was ill for basically my whole life, to the extent that I rarely went to school - so the normal age that people get their first boyfriend 16/17 I was in and out of hospital, basically had no exposure to the opposite sex whatsoever until I was 19/20 and started recovering from my illness, joining various social things and actually getting out into the big wide world. I didn't go to college and haven't been to university yet -- but am going as a mature student next year. I've had to play catchup with my education and have taken A-Levels through distance learning (I didn't have enough GCSEs to go to college and was too ill to go straight onto doing A-Levels anyhow.) So I haven't really had the opportunity to meet members of the opposite sex in a normal environment yet - obviously I meet guys in bars/clubs and stuff and I could have chos en to have sex with one of them, but I'd rather not lose my virginity on a one-night stand.
Because I've had very little socialisation with people my age, I generally have always got on better with people slightly older than me -- so most of my social circle now are in their mid-to-late twenties. Most people I'm friends with know I was ill in the past, but they have no idea of the extent of it and how deeply it affected my life. I think because of my age and because I come across as reasonably confident with guys I do meet they all just assumed I'm not a virgin -- when we had a (drunk) discussion recently about sex and someone asked how many guys I'd slept with I just blurted out '2'. I don't really know why -- I could have told the truth, I know they're nice people and probably wouldn't have judged me for it, but then it would involve having to explain the background as to why and really no one outside of my family fully understands the ramifications of my past and it's not really the kind of light discussion you have over a bottle of wine! My friends don't general ly talk about sex much and that was literally it, but I still feel bad.
I know my virginity is my business, but I'm the kind of person who always feels bad about lying -- do you think it's worth telling them that I lied or just moving on and forgetting about it, given that it's unlikely to come up again?
Because I've had very little socialisation with people my age, I generally have always got on better with people slightly older than me -- so most of my social circle now are in their mid-to-late twenties. Most people I'm friends with know I was ill in the past, but they have no idea of the extent of it and how deeply it affected my life. I think because of my age and because I come across as reasonably confident with guys I do meet they all just assumed I'm not a virgin -- when we had a (drunk) discussion recently about sex and someone asked how many guys I'd slept with I just blurted out '2'. I don't really know why -- I could have told the truth, I know they're nice people and probably wouldn't have judged me for it, but then it would involve having to explain the background as to why and really no one outside of my family fully understands the ramifications of my past and it's not really the kind of light discussion you have over a bottle of wine! My friends don't general ly talk about sex much and that was literally it, but I still feel bad.
I know my virginity is my business, but I'm the kind of person who always feels bad about lying -- do you think it's worth telling them that I lied or just moving on and forgetting about it, given that it's unlikely to come up again?
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