A post in another thread got me thinking about this.
Whether you are in R or D, how did your WS's cheating change how you see them as a person? I don't mean your anger or disgust so much...for me it's actually really, really tragic.
The hatred and triggers are diminishing for me (I am divorcing her), but so much, everything in fact, that she once was to me - is dead. I see absolutely nothing, but the person who destroyed us and our family. This hollow, empty, pathetic shell of a woman who I feel absolutely no love for whatsoever. It's almost like she's dehumanized to me. I care only in the capacity of her being the mother of my children - her well being still is important because she is my children's mother. But if it wasn't for that, I would literally not care at all if she evaporated from the earth, and with her every trace of her ever existing.
This is someone who I loved dearly, who I cherished, respected, defended, my best friend, my confidant, my ally...the closest person to me. How brutally tragic that now I see...nothing. I am empty. She's like a clay shell.
She is full of regret and in a great deal of pain. "I have chosen a very cold and lonely life for myself". She tells me all the time how much she still loves me...sends me pictures of her new tattoo ("Love conquers all" :rolleyes:), she told me today how much she misses "my beautiful heart...I'm so sorry...beautiful". And though this tears me up to write it, it's because my children sit here in front of me playing and I mourn the loss of my family. But that area of my heart, that was once so huge, so vast, so full, is totally dead and cavernous.
How about you? Did you experience the death of that person in terms of who they were before? No? Are they the same? Temporarily dead? What do you feel about/for your WS now?
Whether you are in R or D, how did your WS's cheating change how you see them as a person? I don't mean your anger or disgust so much...for me it's actually really, really tragic.
The hatred and triggers are diminishing for me (I am divorcing her), but so much, everything in fact, that she once was to me - is dead. I see absolutely nothing, but the person who destroyed us and our family. This hollow, empty, pathetic shell of a woman who I feel absolutely no love for whatsoever. It's almost like she's dehumanized to me. I care only in the capacity of her being the mother of my children - her well being still is important because she is my children's mother. But if it wasn't for that, I would literally not care at all if she evaporated from the earth, and with her every trace of her ever existing.
This is someone who I loved dearly, who I cherished, respected, defended, my best friend, my confidant, my ally...the closest person to me. How brutally tragic that now I see...nothing. I am empty. She's like a clay shell.
She is full of regret and in a great deal of pain. "I have chosen a very cold and lonely life for myself". She tells me all the time how much she still loves me...sends me pictures of her new tattoo ("Love conquers all" :rolleyes:), she told me today how much she misses "my beautiful heart...I'm so sorry...beautiful". And though this tears me up to write it, it's because my children sit here in front of me playing and I mourn the loss of my family. But that area of my heart, that was once so huge, so vast, so full, is totally dead and cavernous.
How about you? Did you experience the death of that person in terms of who they were before? No? Are they the same? Temporarily dead? What do you feel about/for your WS now?
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