Hi all, new forum user here. I'm Stephanie, 26 years old. Sorry if I break any forum rules with this post.
I desperately need some advice on what to do with my marriage.
We have only been married for 2 years, and I think the problem lies with me.
I am extremely depressed, and have been for a long time. I kept it from my husband for almost 5 years- alongside of things that bothered me about the marriage.
Recently I opened up to him and dropped everything on him. Several things that I had a problem with, which he took well and whole heartedly said he can change accordingly- and he did.
He had no idea something was wrong, for the whole 5 years that I kept it in. He was quite surprised and said I should have told him earlier, and he would have improved on the things a long time ago. One problem I had is that we are codependent. He had changed his ways in almost all of the things I mentioned.
I just feel trapped. I don't want him to need me, and I want him to be able to live if I had to not be there anymore. He was offended by this, and said he loves me too much to even think of such things.
One thing I did drop on him though is that when I left him 5 years ago, he was so miserable that I went back to him in fear of what he might do to himself if I didn't. I had been living with this for 5 years alone.
We have known each other for 10 years now.
We had financial issues before, but it is a lot better now. We have a nice place to stay, a car, both decent jobs with steady income.
But I still feel depressed, and suicidal thoughts. I have very low self esteem. I have good days, but mostly bad. The depression can go for a while, but always seems to come back.
My husband is offering up a lot and putting in a lot of effort to help me heal, but it feels ineffective.
I still love him, but want the old romance back that we had 10 years ago.
He always brings me flowers, and ravages me with love messages and compliments but I still don't really feel a thing. As if I'm dead inside, emotionless and dead.
Should I consider antidepressants? I know we should probably go for counselling, but we don't have money for that. It would take many months and sacrifice to save up for sessions of counselling.
It is putting a lot of emotional stress on my husband but he tries to hide it because he wants to help me heal, and not let any negativity from him affect me. He told me though he feels like a failure and a weakling now :(
Maybe I can get antidepressants from my doctor to start with?
[edit] just to add, we are also best friends and get along very well.
I desperately need some advice on what to do with my marriage.
We have only been married for 2 years, and I think the problem lies with me.
I am extremely depressed, and have been for a long time. I kept it from my husband for almost 5 years- alongside of things that bothered me about the marriage.
Recently I opened up to him and dropped everything on him. Several things that I had a problem with, which he took well and whole heartedly said he can change accordingly- and he did.
He had no idea something was wrong, for the whole 5 years that I kept it in. He was quite surprised and said I should have told him earlier, and he would have improved on the things a long time ago. One problem I had is that we are codependent. He had changed his ways in almost all of the things I mentioned.
I just feel trapped. I don't want him to need me, and I want him to be able to live if I had to not be there anymore. He was offended by this, and said he loves me too much to even think of such things.
One thing I did drop on him though is that when I left him 5 years ago, he was so miserable that I went back to him in fear of what he might do to himself if I didn't. I had been living with this for 5 years alone.
We have known each other for 10 years now.
We had financial issues before, but it is a lot better now. We have a nice place to stay, a car, both decent jobs with steady income.
But I still feel depressed, and suicidal thoughts. I have very low self esteem. I have good days, but mostly bad. The depression can go for a while, but always seems to come back.
My husband is offering up a lot and putting in a lot of effort to help me heal, but it feels ineffective.
I still love him, but want the old romance back that we had 10 years ago.
He always brings me flowers, and ravages me with love messages and compliments but I still don't really feel a thing. As if I'm dead inside, emotionless and dead.
Should I consider antidepressants? I know we should probably go for counselling, but we don't have money for that. It would take many months and sacrifice to save up for sessions of counselling.
It is putting a lot of emotional stress on my husband but he tries to hide it because he wants to help me heal, and not let any negativity from him affect me. He told me though he feels like a failure and a weakling now :(
Maybe I can get antidepressants from my doctor to start with?
[edit] just to add, we are also best friends and get along very well.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment