Here's the scenario and I would appreciate your thoughts:
Husband had a VERY close male friend when I met him. When I met husband for the first time I also met his parents, his sons, and his best friend. His friend asked me a question however he did not address me and I was not looking at him and was not paying attention. Friend later tells husband (BF at the time) that my not answering his question meant that I was hiding something and was not trustworthy. His friend questioned why I would be interested in him and wondered if I was just looking for some to support me. This friend made it clear that he did not like me and he told my husband that he needed to date other women.
I had no problem with this guy and had no idea where he was coming from or why he was saying the things he was.
Husband invites me to a dance so I show up and he then tells me that he decided to go with his friend instead. I was floored and did not understand, wondered if I misunderstood something.
Thanksgiving comes along and I ask him to spend time with my family, he says he'd think about it. I ask him if he had made up his mind, he tells me he is going to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I knew how much his family liked me so I decided to surprise him and go to him for the holiday only to find out that he was not spending Tday with his family, he was spending it with his best friend and I knew I was not included in those plans. Oh yeah, kickin myself on that one.
Then his best friend tells husband that if he marries me he doesn't think they can be friends anymore. What kind of a friend does this?
The friend was getting ready to move to another state but before he left the men, each 29/30 years old at the time, make a blood bond, husband promises to take care of best friend's wife and children if anything ever happens to him, not sure if they actually cut the skin open but then rubbed their wrists together.
As promised friend did not contact husband for 10 years after we married and then he called one day out of the blue. Apologizes to husband, tells him that he was jealous of our relationship and the time we were spending together and that's why he said the things he did.
The reason I bring this up, is this all had a very profound impact on our relationship and how things went in the first couple years we were together.....husband didn't want to hold my hand, didn't want to tell me he loved me and he told me (later) that it was because he was influenced by his friend.
I mentioned all this to my counselor recently and he told me that men normally do not get this close and wondered if the men could have possibly have been lovers.
Husband had a VERY close male friend when I met him. When I met husband for the first time I also met his parents, his sons, and his best friend. His friend asked me a question however he did not address me and I was not looking at him and was not paying attention. Friend later tells husband (BF at the time) that my not answering his question meant that I was hiding something and was not trustworthy. His friend questioned why I would be interested in him and wondered if I was just looking for some to support me. This friend made it clear that he did not like me and he told my husband that he needed to date other women.
I had no problem with this guy and had no idea where he was coming from or why he was saying the things he was.
Husband invites me to a dance so I show up and he then tells me that he decided to go with his friend instead. I was floored and did not understand, wondered if I misunderstood something.
Thanksgiving comes along and I ask him to spend time with my family, he says he'd think about it. I ask him if he had made up his mind, he tells me he is going to spend Thanksgiving with his family. I knew how much his family liked me so I decided to surprise him and go to him for the holiday only to find out that he was not spending Tday with his family, he was spending it with his best friend and I knew I was not included in those plans. Oh yeah, kickin myself on that one.
Then his best friend tells husband that if he marries me he doesn't think they can be friends anymore. What kind of a friend does this?
The friend was getting ready to move to another state but before he left the men, each 29/30 years old at the time, make a blood bond, husband promises to take care of best friend's wife and children if anything ever happens to him, not sure if they actually cut the skin open but then rubbed their wrists together.
As promised friend did not contact husband for 10 years after we married and then he called one day out of the blue. Apologizes to husband, tells him that he was jealous of our relationship and the time we were spending together and that's why he said the things he did.
The reason I bring this up, is this all had a very profound impact on our relationship and how things went in the first couple years we were together.....husband didn't want to hold my hand, didn't want to tell me he loved me and he told me (later) that it was because he was influenced by his friend.
I mentioned all this to my counselor recently and he told me that men normally do not get this close and wondered if the men could have possibly have been lovers.
Put the internet to work for you.
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