Hello Everyone.
I'm new to this forum and I am looking for help. I haven't been happy in my marriage in about two years, but I've been able to block it out and deal with it until recently when I got a new job a few months ago. I have more time now to think about how I feel and my hopes and dreams for the future.
I love my wife and care about her well-being, but I wish I could just walk away. When we met I felt that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She is beautiful and we had everything in common. We got married about 18 months after we met, and the first year was fantastic. We never argued, said hurtful things to each other, or had major disagreements. Sex was great too. Life was bliss and I loved being married.
After our first anniversary she sparked an interest in how do I describe it? New Age, Spiritualism, Psychic Mediumship, receiving messages from dead loved ones, etc. Well, now two years later she is so deep in this stuff that she is a completely different person. I just can't take it anymore; its hard to watch someone so intelligent fall for this stuff. It just completely consumes her life. She is half-way through a Master's Degree to be a counselor where she thinks she will be able to incorporate these things into a business. She intends to offer traditional counseling with all this New Age stuff. Already In her free time she offers readings to people like the woman on Long Island Medum. It really creeps me out because she will pull out a notebook and will fill up 5-10 pages of what a dead person is supposedly saying. She claims that she has no control over her hand movements and that the spirit is doing the writing. I've watched her do it and I don't see how she could be ma king it up. I couldn't just fill up 10 pages of stuff off the cuff. Nonetheless, I don't agree with any of this stuff, and it isn't me. When we met neither of us were religious and it was great. But I would rather her be a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, etc than this stuff. It is so creepy that I am not attracted to her anymore. She kind of has a superior attitude in that she believes her soul is more "developed" than mine because I don't possess the abilities that she found through her new calling. It really gets annoying.
We no longer spend time together besides going grocery shopping. We don't have long deep intelligent conversations that would go on for hours like we used to. We don't go on vacations like new couples do (never did). . . . to make a long story short we have nothing in common anymore. All of the interests that she and I shared are gone; she has completely disbanded them and this is her new life. I've confronted her about this and she always just laughs and says it is out of her control, and that she has now found her calling. She has an excellent secure and well paying job that she intends to leave once she finishes the Master's Degree that she didn't need to get. On Friday nights she gets together with these like minded people to practice this stuff. Won't go see a movie with me, won't go out for a nice romantic dinner, can't go for a weekend getaway. A few months ago I wanted to go on a small car trip but she wouldn't go with me because she promised these people that she wou ld get together with them; I went myself.
Sex is a completely different story. I don't even want to do it with her and I swear that I am the most horny man on the planet. I could have sex three times a day and still have the urge to masturbate. Sex just consists of me getting her off right away and then me finishing up while she just lays there. I'd rather watch porn, and I do, F U C K it. Its been a month since the last time and I've got my fingers crossed that she doesn't get the urge anytime soon.
We just exist together and that is all it is now. All she talks about 24/7 is this New Age stuff, or complains about the Professors in her Master's degree program. If she isn't studying for school she will go into bed at 6pm and read books till 10pm on Spiritualism, Psychic Mediumship, Reiki Healing, etc.
I'm a young guy and I am really angry about the choices that I have made. I didn't sign up for this. My parents have been together over 30 years and they have a lot more fun and intimacy than I do. I always meant well and I worked so hard to make her happy from day one. For example, to name a few, I bought her an $11,000 engagement ring, and though it might not be a lot of money to you, it was to me at the time because I didn't have it. I replaced the floors in the house twice, repainted the interior three times, bought new furniture after her cats ripped it all up. She didn't demand these things, but I did them because I knew its what she wanted and what would make her happy.
I'm to the point now where I hate being married. I actually like it when she meets her new spiritual friends on Friday nights so I can have the house to myself. I don't want to be committed anymore, and wish I could go have sex with as many random women as possible. I used to feel guilty for feeling this way but I don't anymore. I'm dying just to go to a strip club and pay a women to talk to me. I often find myself thinking about all the sex I'm missing out on, and I am jealous of single guys my age that are out "playing the field". I sometimes find myself wishing I would have been with a lot more women before I was married. I had other partners but I could have had a lot more. I passed up a lot of sex because I thought I would find that special woman, and have a strong marriage like my parents have.
I'm still with her because I love her and worry about her safety. I don't want her to be alone. I also really love one of the cats and I know that she would keep him. I'd also feel guilty about hurting her if I asked for a divorce. I just don't think that there is a future though with her. Also, what women is going to want a guy who got married young and got divorced. I feel like damaged goods. I get depressed when I think about the situation I'm in. I have to be constantly engaging in activities to occupy my mind or my situation gets to me and I feel hopeless. I'm married now but I've never felt more alone.
Any thoughts?
I'm new to this forum and I am looking for help. I haven't been happy in my marriage in about two years, but I've been able to block it out and deal with it until recently when I got a new job a few months ago. I have more time now to think about how I feel and my hopes and dreams for the future.
I love my wife and care about her well-being, but I wish I could just walk away. When we met I felt that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She is beautiful and we had everything in common. We got married about 18 months after we met, and the first year was fantastic. We never argued, said hurtful things to each other, or had major disagreements. Sex was great too. Life was bliss and I loved being married.
After our first anniversary she sparked an interest in how do I describe it? New Age, Spiritualism, Psychic Mediumship, receiving messages from dead loved ones, etc. Well, now two years later she is so deep in this stuff that she is a completely different person. I just can't take it anymore; its hard to watch someone so intelligent fall for this stuff. It just completely consumes her life. She is half-way through a Master's Degree to be a counselor where she thinks she will be able to incorporate these things into a business. She intends to offer traditional counseling with all this New Age stuff. Already In her free time she offers readings to people like the woman on Long Island Medum. It really creeps me out because she will pull out a notebook and will fill up 5-10 pages of what a dead person is supposedly saying. She claims that she has no control over her hand movements and that the spirit is doing the writing. I've watched her do it and I don't see how she could be ma king it up. I couldn't just fill up 10 pages of stuff off the cuff. Nonetheless, I don't agree with any of this stuff, and it isn't me. When we met neither of us were religious and it was great. But I would rather her be a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, etc than this stuff. It is so creepy that I am not attracted to her anymore. She kind of has a superior attitude in that she believes her soul is more "developed" than mine because I don't possess the abilities that she found through her new calling. It really gets annoying.
We no longer spend time together besides going grocery shopping. We don't have long deep intelligent conversations that would go on for hours like we used to. We don't go on vacations like new couples do (never did). . . . to make a long story short we have nothing in common anymore. All of the interests that she and I shared are gone; she has completely disbanded them and this is her new life. I've confronted her about this and she always just laughs and says it is out of her control, and that she has now found her calling. She has an excellent secure and well paying job that she intends to leave once she finishes the Master's Degree that she didn't need to get. On Friday nights she gets together with these like minded people to practice this stuff. Won't go see a movie with me, won't go out for a nice romantic dinner, can't go for a weekend getaway. A few months ago I wanted to go on a small car trip but she wouldn't go with me because she promised these people that she wou ld get together with them; I went myself.
Sex is a completely different story. I don't even want to do it with her and I swear that I am the most horny man on the planet. I could have sex three times a day and still have the urge to masturbate. Sex just consists of me getting her off right away and then me finishing up while she just lays there. I'd rather watch porn, and I do, F U C K it. Its been a month since the last time and I've got my fingers crossed that she doesn't get the urge anytime soon.
We just exist together and that is all it is now. All she talks about 24/7 is this New Age stuff, or complains about the Professors in her Master's degree program. If she isn't studying for school she will go into bed at 6pm and read books till 10pm on Spiritualism, Psychic Mediumship, Reiki Healing, etc.
I'm a young guy and I am really angry about the choices that I have made. I didn't sign up for this. My parents have been together over 30 years and they have a lot more fun and intimacy than I do. I always meant well and I worked so hard to make her happy from day one. For example, to name a few, I bought her an $11,000 engagement ring, and though it might not be a lot of money to you, it was to me at the time because I didn't have it. I replaced the floors in the house twice, repainted the interior three times, bought new furniture after her cats ripped it all up. She didn't demand these things, but I did them because I knew its what she wanted and what would make her happy.
I'm to the point now where I hate being married. I actually like it when she meets her new spiritual friends on Friday nights so I can have the house to myself. I don't want to be committed anymore, and wish I could go have sex with as many random women as possible. I used to feel guilty for feeling this way but I don't anymore. I'm dying just to go to a strip club and pay a women to talk to me. I often find myself thinking about all the sex I'm missing out on, and I am jealous of single guys my age that are out "playing the field". I sometimes find myself wishing I would have been with a lot more women before I was married. I had other partners but I could have had a lot more. I passed up a lot of sex because I thought I would find that special woman, and have a strong marriage like my parents have.
I'm still with her because I love her and worry about her safety. I don't want her to be alone. I also really love one of the cats and I know that she would keep him. I'd also feel guilty about hurting her if I asked for a divorce. I just don't think that there is a future though with her. Also, what women is going to want a guy who got married young and got divorced. I feel like damaged goods. I get depressed when I think about the situation I'm in. I have to be constantly engaging in activities to occupy my mind or my situation gets to me and I feel hopeless. I'm married now but I've never felt more alone.
Any thoughts?
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