I would like some feedback, please.
My husband of 20 years left me for another woman about a year ago. At the time, he and I were very unhappy and had been talking about the possibility of divorce, and had been in couples counseling for a while. We said some hurtful things in counseling, and at one point I told him that I wasn't happy in our marriage and wanted a divorce. However, the next day I told him that I loved him and that I wanted to make it work, though it would require a lot of hard work on both of our parts. He seemed on board and committed. However, once he met this woman, he lost all interest in me and our marriage and moved on very quickly (24 hours). He just up and left, shacking up with her.
He came home a couple months later wanting to reconcile. I though he came back for me, because we were married and he loved me, but as it turns out, he was back because the girlfriend dumped him. While I was working hard to reconcile and renew our marriage, he continued to call/text/email her (and a few other women he had been casually dating). I also found out that he likes to browse the casual encounters section of craigslist and seems addicted to internet porn.
I am devastated by the fact that he left me for this other woman, and the fact that he looks at the casual encounters ads scares me. A lot. So does the fact that he looks at porn daily. I love him and am trying to build a healthy marriage. He is a good man and we have been together for a very long time.
What upsets me the most is that he claims that I have no right to be upset about his relationship outside of our marriage because he and I were talking about divorce. I am trying so hard to let go of the past and focus on the positives in the present, but I find it impossible to do so, particularly when my pain and feelings of betrayal are rejected and even mocked.
Am I wallowing in self-pity? Do I have a right to be upset? I feel so betrayed, so rejected, so used. I don't know how to get over this.
My husband of 20 years left me for another woman about a year ago. At the time, he and I were very unhappy and had been talking about the possibility of divorce, and had been in couples counseling for a while. We said some hurtful things in counseling, and at one point I told him that I wasn't happy in our marriage and wanted a divorce. However, the next day I told him that I loved him and that I wanted to make it work, though it would require a lot of hard work on both of our parts. He seemed on board and committed. However, once he met this woman, he lost all interest in me and our marriage and moved on very quickly (24 hours). He just up and left, shacking up with her.
He came home a couple months later wanting to reconcile. I though he came back for me, because we were married and he loved me, but as it turns out, he was back because the girlfriend dumped him. While I was working hard to reconcile and renew our marriage, he continued to call/text/email her (and a few other women he had been casually dating). I also found out that he likes to browse the casual encounters section of craigslist and seems addicted to internet porn.
I am devastated by the fact that he left me for this other woman, and the fact that he looks at the casual encounters ads scares me. A lot. So does the fact that he looks at porn daily. I love him and am trying to build a healthy marriage. He is a good man and we have been together for a very long time.
What upsets me the most is that he claims that I have no right to be upset about his relationship outside of our marriage because he and I were talking about divorce. I am trying so hard to let go of the past and focus on the positives in the present, but I find it impossible to do so, particularly when my pain and feelings of betrayal are rejected and even mocked.
Am I wallowing in self-pity? Do I have a right to be upset? I feel so betrayed, so rejected, so used. I don't know how to get over this.
Put the internet to work for you.
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