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gut punched by serial cheat

Three weeks ago I found out that he is not only having an affair, but ALSO having casual hook-ups with whatever woman will have him, and ALSO having oral-sex with men. He meets these people through the internet, swinger websites.

The lying is a deal breaker to me. We've been together for 4 years and he has put me through drama and hell but I loved him through everything. I just never expected the cheating because he is such a liar, he covered every track. I just trusted. The bi-sexuality floored me, but believe it or not, not as much as the affair. Its with someone that I know casually.

I realize now that he is compulsive with his sexual behavior and I consider him a sex addict. He is having sex with everyone but me. Our sex has slowed down almost to nothing. I am an attractive woman. He has always displayed a lot of homo-phobia, but it's just a front. And so is this whole relationship.

Still in his sick way, I believe that he loves me very much. He keeps me for companionship and for the "front" of a normal, nice guy. In many ways a great guy. And it's important to him that he puts forth that appearance.

I prefer to be alone rather than have someone that disrespects me, lies to me, makes me feel unattractive, and hurts me in many ways emotionally. But I thought he was the love of my life. And I'm shattered. I don't sleep, I don't eat.

Here is the clincher. I'm still living with him. He doesn't know that I found out. With my new clarity I have come to realize what a parasite he is. Unfortunately now I'm in deep with money. He has borrowed money from a family member of mine in the five figures. He doesn't have credit, so I signed for his car loan for his new car. The apartment is in my name and I can't afford it on my own. And he maxed out one of my credit cards in the thousands. I have a job but these extra expenses when I leave him will crush me. I am staying until I can get all my "ducks in a row". I'm suffering greatly.

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