Hi all, me again..funny how things kind of change within a few days lol
Basically, i have been going to Spain for 10 years and in 2011 i met this girl who lives there, we got kind of close ( not like sex or anything but she always gave me lifts in her car and stuff..generally happy to be around me)
As i only go to this place in Spain 2 or so weeks of the year in the summer..i only see her once a year..at the end of the 2011 trip she was the last person i saw before catching the flight..we hugged, said goodbye and i left..i have never felt pain like that before...knowing im flying away from her...2012 i go back and of course she is busy..she works there..but i see her once or twice in the two weeks before i then again fly home to England..which again hurt but not as badly as before...2013 i see her again..only once really in the two weeks i was there but i understand she is busy working most of the time...problem was i wasnt fussed before seeing her..but as soon as i see her the feelings flood back to me...as if they never left..we get on like a house on fire..well thats how i feel anyway...so again i leave for England..and it hurts again.
Anyway fast forward to basically now and she is in England for a few weeks with a friend..hopefully longer if she gets work, she has family here so she has a place to stay..funny thing is she does not live far from me..like 20 minutes away or so.
So i go up to hers...before this im not really fussed i just feel normal..going to see a friend i havent seen for a few months..great really :) so yeah, i go up there and i spend the day with her..best day i have had in a long time, everything just felt right, i was happy with her..was in a good mood the entire day...so as it's late we hug and i leave and go home..i feel happy.
Now the next morning i wake up feeling horrible...feel weak, sick, not wanting to leave my bed..depressed..i have no idea why..but the feeling is identical to the one where i leave her in Spain having to fly home at the end of the holiday..difference is this time she hasnt gone anywhere and neither have i..shes in this city still but i feel so down being apart from her now...it's like a double edged sword...not see her and not feel this way...or enjoy times with her but hurt when i/she has to leave...she is ridiculously special to me....more than any girl ever has been.
Before seeing her i wasnt really too fussed as months had passed but when i went up to hers..i remember how good we are together..i have always liked her more than a friend but have never said this (although im pretty sure i make it really obvious) as it's not fair as we live in different countries and at times she has had a boyfriend so made sense not to say anything.
Now as it stands, i think she is single...and if she gets work she is going to be here for at least a few months..she is local as well...i kind of feel like telling her that i see her more than a friend and want more.
(I do kind of act flirty with her, gentle touching and stuff but ive never noticed a clear indication of fancying me..so jumping in at the deep end kinda)
Do you think i should tell her how i feel or will it ruin things?
Basically, i have been going to Spain for 10 years and in 2011 i met this girl who lives there, we got kind of close ( not like sex or anything but she always gave me lifts in her car and stuff..generally happy to be around me)
As i only go to this place in Spain 2 or so weeks of the year in the summer..i only see her once a year..at the end of the 2011 trip she was the last person i saw before catching the flight..we hugged, said goodbye and i left..i have never felt pain like that before...knowing im flying away from her...2012 i go back and of course she is busy..she works there..but i see her once or twice in the two weeks before i then again fly home to England..which again hurt but not as badly as before...2013 i see her again..only once really in the two weeks i was there but i understand she is busy working most of the time...problem was i wasnt fussed before seeing her..but as soon as i see her the feelings flood back to me...as if they never left..we get on like a house on fire..well thats how i feel anyway...so again i leave for England..and it hurts again.
Anyway fast forward to basically now and she is in England for a few weeks with a friend..hopefully longer if she gets work, she has family here so she has a place to stay..funny thing is she does not live far from me..like 20 minutes away or so.
So i go up to hers...before this im not really fussed i just feel normal..going to see a friend i havent seen for a few months..great really :) so yeah, i go up there and i spend the day with her..best day i have had in a long time, everything just felt right, i was happy with her..was in a good mood the entire day...so as it's late we hug and i leave and go home..i feel happy.
Now the next morning i wake up feeling horrible...feel weak, sick, not wanting to leave my bed..depressed..i have no idea why..but the feeling is identical to the one where i leave her in Spain having to fly home at the end of the holiday..difference is this time she hasnt gone anywhere and neither have i..shes in this city still but i feel so down being apart from her now...it's like a double edged sword...not see her and not feel this way...or enjoy times with her but hurt when i/she has to leave...she is ridiculously special to me....more than any girl ever has been.
Before seeing her i wasnt really too fussed as months had passed but when i went up to hers..i remember how good we are together..i have always liked her more than a friend but have never said this (although im pretty sure i make it really obvious) as it's not fair as we live in different countries and at times she has had a boyfriend so made sense not to say anything.
Now as it stands, i think she is single...and if she gets work she is going to be here for at least a few months..she is local as well...i kind of feel like telling her that i see her more than a friend and want more.
(I do kind of act flirty with her, gentle touching and stuff but ive never noticed a clear indication of fancying me..so jumping in at the deep end kinda)
Do you think i should tell her how i feel or will it ruin things?
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