OK let me clarify. I don't think that insecurity is attractive, of course it isn't.
But from what I gather when you're dating you're 'supposed to', as a guy, act like you're the **** until the girl you're chasing is all after you. And more or less forever after that including throughout marriage.
http://boards.askmen.com/showthread....-skinny-guys-- You may be too sensitive to the thoughts you imagine women have about your looks. A common problem with us when we are relatively inexperienced in dating is that we aren't always great leaders, and look for the woman to take the lead, and reassure us (in subtle ways) that they like us.
By and large, men have to lead in relationships, at least in a lot of ways. If you wait for the woman to say she likes you, or you're worried that she doesn't, you will communicate weakness and insecurity to her, which is a turn off. Within reason, act like she thinks you're s*hit-hot, and proceed accordingly unless and until she says something explicit to the contrary.
Again, crying about how pathetic you are won't land you a date, of course. But why do you have to go to the absolute opposite extreme?
I would like to think I could just be me, eventually get to a point in my relationships where I will openly accept that I'm not perfect and do have moments of 'weakness' or insecurity, where I question myself or where I don't know what I'm doing. And that just makes me human.
So why the hell is that a turn-off?
It is almost a double standard where women can say 'I'm not good enough for you' but will dump a guy who confesses the same at moments.
I had to say to my gf today after she said that, 'You know, sometimes I feel like that too. But I'll do my best and give you all my love and I hope that'll be enough :)' and have made similar things. Sort of 'Maybe I'm not good 'enough', but I'm still good, I know I have a good heart, and I'll give you what I have'
It did not seem natural to say 'I like you. This is what I have to offer. Take it because I am a ****ing baws and if you don't it's your loss'.
Maybe because I'm some oversensitive beta phag with low testosterone or something or maybe because I'm a caring guy?
I am wondering whether admitting this to reassure her that everyone has moments of insecurity is going to lead to me being dumped off the 'fact' that men must lead, and men who are sensitive tend to follow instead.
But from what I gather when you're dating you're 'supposed to', as a guy, act like you're the **** until the girl you're chasing is all after you. And more or less forever after that including throughout marriage.
http://boards.askmen.com/showthread....-skinny-guys-- You may be too sensitive to the thoughts you imagine women have about your looks. A common problem with us when we are relatively inexperienced in dating is that we aren't always great leaders, and look for the woman to take the lead, and reassure us (in subtle ways) that they like us.
By and large, men have to lead in relationships, at least in a lot of ways. If you wait for the woman to say she likes you, or you're worried that she doesn't, you will communicate weakness and insecurity to her, which is a turn off. Within reason, act like she thinks you're s*hit-hot, and proceed accordingly unless and until she says something explicit to the contrary.
Again, crying about how pathetic you are won't land you a date, of course. But why do you have to go to the absolute opposite extreme?
I would like to think I could just be me, eventually get to a point in my relationships where I will openly accept that I'm not perfect and do have moments of 'weakness' or insecurity, where I question myself or where I don't know what I'm doing. And that just makes me human.
So why the hell is that a turn-off?
It is almost a double standard where women can say 'I'm not good enough for you' but will dump a guy who confesses the same at moments.
I had to say to my gf today after she said that, 'You know, sometimes I feel like that too. But I'll do my best and give you all my love and I hope that'll be enough :)' and have made similar things. Sort of 'Maybe I'm not good 'enough', but I'm still good, I know I have a good heart, and I'll give you what I have'
It did not seem natural to say 'I like you. This is what I have to offer. Take it because I am a ****ing baws and if you don't it's your loss'.
Maybe because I'm some oversensitive beta phag with low testosterone or something or maybe because I'm a caring guy?
I am wondering whether admitting this to reassure her that everyone has moments of insecurity is going to lead to me being dumped off the 'fact' that men must lead, and men who are sensitive tend to follow instead.
Put the internet to work for you.
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