I think some know my story. We've been together for 13 years, married for six. One soon to be two year old son.
I found out about his serial cheating in June ( not affairs, casual sex hook ups on Craigslist, swingers), and his acting out with men and women (he describes himself as bi-oral). He described it as compulsive sexual behavior so I told him if he got therapy for it id consider staying. I busted him arranging a meet up again a month later and still gave him another chance. I was still in love with him.
We kept on having unprotected sex but something in me says to myself that did I really believe he'd stop because I told him too. I'm scared of stds. The sex slowed down and he's complaining but also propositioning me for public sex and telling me he knows he'll talk me into a threesome. So yesterday, I told him I want to use condoms and he told me he was done trying to make it up to me because I obviously couldn't get over his cheating.
And I can't but I'm still in love with him. When he's good, he's a great husband and father. He warns well and he's a capable guy around the house. He does everything here and i am used to that now. He is larger than life. He gives generous gifts and he's an involved father. We have a great ocean view house and live a fairy tale life ( no money problems, nice vacations). But I have to remind myself that he can also be verbally and emotionally abusive). I know this sounds strange that part of me wants to make this relationship work and then the other part of me wants to smack myself across the face.
In the end, I know I need to give my son a healthy example and this husband and marriage are not healthy. But I'm scared to let go. But I guess I have too.
Posted via Mobile Device
I found out about his serial cheating in June ( not affairs, casual sex hook ups on Craigslist, swingers), and his acting out with men and women (he describes himself as bi-oral). He described it as compulsive sexual behavior so I told him if he got therapy for it id consider staying. I busted him arranging a meet up again a month later and still gave him another chance. I was still in love with him.
We kept on having unprotected sex but something in me says to myself that did I really believe he'd stop because I told him too. I'm scared of stds. The sex slowed down and he's complaining but also propositioning me for public sex and telling me he knows he'll talk me into a threesome. So yesterday, I told him I want to use condoms and he told me he was done trying to make it up to me because I obviously couldn't get over his cheating.
And I can't but I'm still in love with him. When he's good, he's a great husband and father. He warns well and he's a capable guy around the house. He does everything here and i am used to that now. He is larger than life. He gives generous gifts and he's an involved father. We have a great ocean view house and live a fairy tale life ( no money problems, nice vacations). But I have to remind myself that he can also be verbally and emotionally abusive). I know this sounds strange that part of me wants to make this relationship work and then the other part of me wants to smack myself across the face.
In the end, I know I need to give my son a healthy example and this husband and marriage are not healthy. But I'm scared to let go. But I guess I have too.
Posted via Mobile Device
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