Hi Everyone - I'm not sure if others out there have similar feelings as I do about their Adult Children but I'm hoping to get some feedback but I don't need slams or criticism.
My kids and I had gone through a lot together. I have a Son who is 29 and my Daughter 26. Their dad left us for another Women when they my Son was 7 and Daughter 4. He moved across the Country to be with Her. Seeing his kids only a week out of the year and talking to them on the phone once a month mostly. They were angry and hurt as any child would be. I married their Dad when I was sixteen. I knew I didn't love him the way I should but because I was pregnant my parents gave me a choice. Marry him or go into a home for troubled teens.
I never went on welfare and always said I will make it work. I did my best. He wanted very different things then me. He wanted us to have an open marriage. Would bring home guys and want to have threesomes. The final straw was when he was having this other women call our house and he was telling her he loved her. I couldn't take it anymore and told him to get out. The kids only knew that I told him to leave, not what I was going through.
Long story short, he moved in with her 2000 miles away and I ended remarrying. The man I married was much older then me but told me if I married him my kids and I would have the best. I knew it wasn't right but I wanted to give my kids things I couldn't on my own. That ended up backfiring in my face. As soon as we were married, he showed his true side. Controlling and abusive. After five years of being threatened and scared and my kids being scared, I left him. He ended up with a lifetime restraining order.
I tried to give my kids everything I could. They are my whole life. After they left, I went into a deep depression. My Daughter still has anger buried deep and I've made a lot of mistakes but I've tried to keep them from making the same. They both have college degrees and very good jobs. I also have a Granddaughter now and She's three and such a love.
The kids dad moved back after my Granddaughter was born with his wife. I had a hard time at first but knew I had to let the anger go. However it still hurts a great deal that the kids go and hangout a lot with their dad and do not give him a hard time ever but have no problem giving me a hard time. More so my Daughter. We are close and always apologize to each other when we get into it but I don't know what else to do. I feel like because I was the one that had to be the dad and mom, because I was the only parent they had to listen too that I am going to be second in their life always. I don't know what else to do. I just want to have relationships with my Adult Children that I see others having.
(I'm sorry this was so long)
My kids and I had gone through a lot together. I have a Son who is 29 and my Daughter 26. Their dad left us for another Women when they my Son was 7 and Daughter 4. He moved across the Country to be with Her. Seeing his kids only a week out of the year and talking to them on the phone once a month mostly. They were angry and hurt as any child would be. I married their Dad when I was sixteen. I knew I didn't love him the way I should but because I was pregnant my parents gave me a choice. Marry him or go into a home for troubled teens.
I never went on welfare and always said I will make it work. I did my best. He wanted very different things then me. He wanted us to have an open marriage. Would bring home guys and want to have threesomes. The final straw was when he was having this other women call our house and he was telling her he loved her. I couldn't take it anymore and told him to get out. The kids only knew that I told him to leave, not what I was going through.
Long story short, he moved in with her 2000 miles away and I ended remarrying. The man I married was much older then me but told me if I married him my kids and I would have the best. I knew it wasn't right but I wanted to give my kids things I couldn't on my own. That ended up backfiring in my face. As soon as we were married, he showed his true side. Controlling and abusive. After five years of being threatened and scared and my kids being scared, I left him. He ended up with a lifetime restraining order.
I tried to give my kids everything I could. They are my whole life. After they left, I went into a deep depression. My Daughter still has anger buried deep and I've made a lot of mistakes but I've tried to keep them from making the same. They both have college degrees and very good jobs. I also have a Granddaughter now and She's three and such a love.
The kids dad moved back after my Granddaughter was born with his wife. I had a hard time at first but knew I had to let the anger go. However it still hurts a great deal that the kids go and hangout a lot with their dad and do not give him a hard time ever but have no problem giving me a hard time. More so my Daughter. We are close and always apologize to each other when we get into it but I don't know what else to do. I feel like because I was the one that had to be the dad and mom, because I was the only parent they had to listen too that I am going to be second in their life always. I don't know what else to do. I just want to have relationships with my Adult Children that I see others having.
(I'm sorry this was so long)
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