| I have a new guitar instructor who has lots of friends from my homeland and his faith is kinda similar to mine. He even speaks a little bit of the same language. I'm 45, he's 30. I'm married. He's not and I don't know if he's in a relationship. I go to class one hour a week and I steer away from personal discussions. We sometimes talk about our faith, my homeland, music, his classes, etc. Just some chit chat when we start the session. Couple of times, he's asked me what I'll be doing after class because he likes to talk to me more about his faith and other stuff. He asked if we could have tea or grab something to eat. People from his faith get persecuted, so I thought he probably wants to share the suffering of his people or something like that. He also asked me if I could go to a jam session because they're looking for more students to attend. I said 9 PM is too late since I go to work early in the morning. The other day, he said whenever you're ready, let me know and we'll grab something to eat and talk more. I've been sharing all this with my therapist and my close male friend (American). I was telling my male-friend that the ex-guitar instructor wouldn't ask me to have tea, to go to a jam session, or rarely asked me questions. He said it's not right to compare 2 people together and the new guitar guy is interested in getting to know me, talk more, share more. He said there's nothing wrong with having tea with him and that a good friendship might develop from it. My therapist said as women, we need to have our radar up and to make sure boundaries aren't being crossed. She did say she's adding to my paranioa about what men say :) Last week, I was at her office and said I feel bad that I've said no to him twice and what my male-friend has said. She said do what feels right and "don't be codependant on him". Codependant? Really? This is from wikipedia. Am I codependant or moving towards being one for feeling bad that he's asked twice and I've said no?? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency "People who are codependent often take on the role of martyr; they constantly put others' needs before their own and in doing so forget to take care of themselves" | |||
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