Throwing her life away

Here's my story... I was married for five years to a woman in the armed services. I changed my whole life to be with her. Moved a thousand miles from everyone I know, twice, to be with her. Things got tough over the last year and I caught her "seeing" another man while we were still married. In addition this man was married with two kids. We'll call him dan. Dan was also an officer in the military while my wife, Betty, was an enlisted member. Anyone who has been in the military knows that fraternizing with an officer is a big no-no, unless you are an officer as well. In any case, when I caught her I confronted her and she put an end to it. They had never slept together and she agreed that it was a terrible idea to pursue that relationship. Several months went by and she was increasingly unhappy. Unhappy to the point that the only thing she wanted was a divorce. It broke my heart and still hurts today, as the divorce was finalized only three weeks ago. We have no children and I didn't put up a legal fight. I'm well employed myself and currently purchasing a home. So, last night I found a hallmark card in one of our vehicles. We still live together until my home purchase is complete. It was a hand written note from Dan expressing his love for her and begging betty to be with him. I confronted betty again because she has an awful lot to lose. She's to attend officer candidate school next year. If her superiors were to find out it would be serious trouble. Here's the short list of what happens if/when they get caught: -betty doesn't get to go to officer candidate school -betty doesn't get to stay in the service at all (honorable discharge) -dan doesn't get to stay in the service either (honorable discharge) -dan's wife and two young children have no source of income -potential divorce for dan and his wife, another broken home I contacted dan for a second time (i warned him to stay away from my wife after the first time) to tell him to let it go. Wasn't worth the trouble he and my ex were brewing. His wife intercepted the message and we haven't heard from them since. The worst part for me is to see my ex completely crushed. She's heartbroken. It breaks my heart because I still love her and she never showed that kind of emotion over her and I. She claims she loves this married man and I don't doubt it, but by continuing this relationship she's doomed two marriages, two careers, and forever changed the life of two young children. I guess my meddling is what brought the situation to light in Dan's house, but now betty and I sit at home, both heartbroken for two completely different reasons. I'm not going to turn her in but Dan's wife may. What the hell are we supposed to do?

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