| Hello guys. I would appreciate some responses and ideas to what has happened to me recently :( So what is the story like? Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years. We met on a basis of an absolute coincidence, viewed from both sides. I was 18, she was 20. It was in summer 2010. Even thought this was my first serious relationship, everyone I have talked to said it was very special one. I felt it the same and my gf, who was pretty more experienced agreed about that fact to. On our first date, we talked all the time. Next dates we talked too till the morning. There was so much chemistry between us that we talked all the nights the days we were together and could tell everything to each other. We felt something special between us and on this fact we were able to build an extremly strong boundary. Sex was just some small top of the hill, which was also perfect - but the foundation was unbelievable. I never thought I may become so connected to anybody. Thing is that she lived not at home when we met and after some time I offered her living at my place with my pare nts, as her expenses on living somewhere else were quite high. It worked well from the begining. We had no problems and the boundary became even better. To be honest, I loved seeing her each morning next to me and falling asleep each night with her. As the time went on, the relationship was better and better. In our lifes, we also did good. But then some troubles came. First year was absolutely amazing, no problems at all. Allthought I see as a problem, that during this period she did not want to go out a lot with my friends and kinda stayed at home all the time. I was not comfortable with that, but did tolerate it. I tolerated it becouse she was at a new place and needed to accomodate. So I just did not comment it and so. Just did used to it, but now I see it as a small part of the cause why we broke up. Beign quite a lot alone, we kinda distanced from the real-wold view as we were totally in love. The change came with me finishing my high school and her quitting her job. In summer 2011. I went to a university (in a distance of 100 km) as a part-time student seeking work and she went to start her own business. Both of us had kinda big dreams and wanted to succeed. She up to this time worked around 60 hours a week, so one day she may start that mentioned business. So she did start the business. I found a place in an insurance company, both of this in the same city. Up to that moment, I have worked quite a lot even during the high school, as my dad had an small butchery shop and I was helping quite a lot. She too had worked quite a lot and it was just something we were used to do. But we did not go out with people again. Both of us worked throught the day, I had also to learn and work. As time went on, both of us failed with our plans. It was in spring 2012. We became flustrated and had to quit the jobs becouse it did not go well. Both of us worked for a whole week and we had time for ourselves only during the weekend, not mentioning the evenings. I had to commint also some time to exams preparations. Anyway, we have been there for us and did all we could to help each other with troubles. When I look on that matter now, both of us wanted too much from life to early and we were not mature enough for that. We could not handle it and it marked our relationship deeply. Some arguments came out of this. I also see as a problem, that my gf right after the bankrupcy occured, started working somewhere else and we did not have time to get over it, evalue again our life and move on to something new. She jumped straight to a new job, keeping 2 minor jobs summing up again to 60 hours per a week. Problem was that one leading employee did not like my gf and did behave very bad towards her, so after 3 months she quitted also that job and stayed unemployed at my place for 3 months (during the whole summer) untill she found something else. That was in september. Me, after quitting the job, had started working with my dad in butchery again. After some time the university weight started to fall on me so both of us felt high pressure. I met a girl with whom I could talk about these issues (university and so on) which my girlfriend did not like when she found out about it and was really jealously. It ended up with her screaming at me, saying reallly bad words and once she tried to take some pills, ending in a hospital. I was ruined and never contacted the girl again, even thought we met a few times after that as she was going out with the same people I did. But never talked to her again. I could not. Both of us did serious mistakes during that period and we were near to beaking up. She tried to go away, but then she came back, we have talked and decided to work hard on improving ourselves. Another problem came straight after. Based on all the issues we have suffered I had problems with university and had to sacrifice the whole summer with learning so that I do not get kicked out of the university. At the time, it seemed to me like that cannot happen to be kicked out. So my gf was unemployed during the summer, had only her 2 minor jobs summing up to 20 hours a week and I was learning nearly all the time and took it also quite serious. Worked 4 hours a week and then just learned and learned all the time. It was math and I was totally dumb in that subject. In this time, we started to see details as a problems and started to pick up on each other. Now what has happened in autumn 2012. Both of us were after all of these failures totally disappointed and scared. We could not make a decision. She has built again a strong relationship with her family (that was the why she was not living there) and we got invited to live there, but we decided to stay at my family place. We rejected also some other possibilities. Problem also was, that I refused to continue working with my dad as there were also some issues. So I had to look for a new job, but succeed. So in autumn 2012 both of us had jobs, all seemed well. Seen from now, it was an absolute mess. We decided to jump into the same river again. She was again working 60 hours a week again, me I little less - but it was weighted by the pressure arising from my university studies as the second year was quite thougher. Problems started to pop up in december 2012. I had to focus on my university, my gf was again not happy at the workplace and quitted the job. Staying only with her minor jobs I have mentioned again, counting up to 20 hours a week. Then she moved away for 2 weeks, giving me enough space to study. That was great from her, allthou I know she was crying that time about our relationship and thinking deep. Anyway, after that we spent 3 great weeks during the christmas with her family and felt the love between us again. After christmas I succesed with exams, she found a new job in the city we lived in and all looked better. But me personally started to have serious pshychical problems - depressions. During this time I was absolutely cold. Could not think freely as there were some other problems. Again more and more problems started to pop up. We had a lot of bad views, ideas and so on, for now I am not going to speak in particular. All the problems led me to forget all about her parts I loved and thought only about the problematic parts.I realized it and told to myself, that we need to be separated for a while so I can clean my thoguhts.For this purpose I had choosed to live in the place I had university, for 17 days, so that I may prepare for the exams. During my stay my depression reached the peek and could barely communicate, had self-destructive thoughts. I have called only twice with my gf and once it turned out to an argument. I dont know if she knew how bad it was with me, I tried to look strong in her eyes, but I know she felt that from me. During my stay, she broke up with me through Facebook. I could not even recognize what has happened and totally put it away from my mind. I had 7 exams coming in 14 days and could not get distracted. And I was totally depressed so really, really I could not evalue what is going on. Then I have finished my exams, got home from the place. Wrote to my girl where she is (she had to come home 2 days after me), but did not. Somehow I still felt a lot of bad thoughts towards her, but was happy to see her and hoped for.But insted of going to her place asking what happens with her and us, I felt I need to clean my mind from all the stuff at the university (I spoke to 3 persons during 17 days, could barely sleep, felt depressed, anxious) and went drinking. Two days later she wrote me that we will only meet when she gets her things from my place and no more It is now one month from that moment. Still I was like some dumbass, could not grasp what the heck happens. I was not able to react emotionally, I think that all the positive emotions have been totally destroyed by my depression and I felt nothing. So somehow, I accepted it, this has to be. Problem came when we met 2 weeks ago. Up to that time from my succes at the exams I could clean and calm my mind down. Could again think freely. Depression, anxiousness and problems with sleeping went away. When I met her in this state, I felt everything I loved on her again and was totally ruined when came home. While I was with her I was strong, but the evening and the next day I could not stop thinking about her. I felt with her in love again as like in the moment I have met her for the first time. Then we started calling each other again. We agreed that we still love each other, told a lot of things summed to 10 hours of calls between us, but in the end it finished with her telling that there is YET no way we may get back together. She even started to date another guy, what has totally ruined me, but as I believe she was honest with me, doesnt love him and so... just learns to like him. | |||
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