I don't know what to do

It all started when I was 17. Basically, my mum found out that my dad had an affair, but she never left him for the sake of me and my brother. Their relationship was evidently strained after that, and I hated their attitudes around each other, especially my mum's. She would always insinuate that my dad was still having the affair, e.g. making a point of checking his texts in front of all of us and asking where he was going, who he was calling etc. I hated it even though I know that she was right to, but it still made me really angry at the time, and it got to the point where I wanted to kill myself as the ultimate f--k you to both of them. Anyway, I suffered from a short period of depression, and postponed going to university until I was 22. There, I met a guy and we started a relationship. I'm 26 now, and he proposed to me about a week ago. I straight out told him that I couldn't make the decision immediately, and I haven't seen or spoken to him since as I'm trying to figure things out. It was a wake up call really, because it really made me think about whether or not I want to do this. I love him more than anything, but I don't feel like I could go through with marriage because my parents have made me believe that marriage is something that could end up with terrible consequences. I have told my mum about his proposal, and she is adamant that I don't say yes, and I know that she thinks marriage ruins everything. I do love him, but I'm now thinking that perhaps he's better off with someone who is willing to wholly dedicate herself to him as opposed to someone like me. He is a good person, and I don't want him to be in a marriage where his wife is forever lacking the complete trust that a marriage should have. What do you think I should do?

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