Feel so lonely

And down on myself. Life's given me too many blows. I'm longing for a woman at the moment and at times don't think I'm good enough. My family makes me feel so alone, I don't get them at all. I do find beauty in life being alone, but mayeb not for ever, especially not when there's someone special. Tonight I felt under my Dads acheivements, and my sisters partner does things in the field of the girl I like, I thought God, I couldn;t bear seeing them go on together about the sport they do. And my sis had kdis and all that but I don;t want it, anything like my families life, I want a different type of life but I care about soemone so much and want her to be with me and show her that I've got different stuff to all this. I am unemployed now but have a great place and moving on to jobs, I have many other dreams too but hard to find direction-very vry tough on myself and many obstacels. It's not that I have no spirit I'm just different and had some harsh stuff. I'm emotional, quite sensitive really. And hard on myself. I have talents but don't feel I've used them the rigth way. Feeel I've done nothing. Tonight it hit me with all this and I want this girl so much. Am I just writng myself off a bit?

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