Troubled by GFs relationship with her brother

My GF IMO tends give too much love and respect to the people who show her the least :scratchhead: Early on in our relationship I started noticing she would always tell me how bad her daughters father treated her when they were together and how he tries to avaiod paying CS and spending time with his daughter, hes also seems to have a smartass comment and talks down to her whenever he sees her, yet she seem to almost kiss his butt and be overly accommodating to him, but always maintained she had no feelings for him just trying to be cordial. I still had a major problem with it and explained to her she didnt owe him anything and should treat people the way they treat her, since weve moved in together im happy to say shes made a 180. Unfortuatly I think this is a trend with her as she seems to be at her abusive older brothers bekkon call whenever he wants her around. She has 2 younger brothers close in age aswell but she doesnt seem to be as close and doesnt seem to have much interest in spending "family time" with them. Ive been friends with all 3 brothers for many years (ironically closest with the oldest as we ar both avid hunters) and always had a fondness for their sister and decided to start dating her shortly after my divorce to my ex wife. We all spend alot of time together especially during holidays and Bdays mostly at our house and Im almost accepted as one of the family, however I dont like the way the older brother talks down to his sister, the second he walks in the door hes on her case about this or that. I understand this is normal with siblings but comon shes almost 31 hes 34 and hes accomplished NOTHING I mean NOTHING in his life he lives in the same house with his grandma since he was 14, he doesn't have a steady job, kids ,hes never even had a credit card in his life! His sister even had to co sign his truck loan LOL IMO hes got no right to tell anyone how to live their life! He shows her no respect and talks to her like shes a child yet she kisses his butt! He didnt even talk to her for 2 years once, because she was dating someone outside her race. He even came to me then and told me how disgusted he was by it thinking I would be sympathetic for some reason, and even though I didnt know her well then, I felt so bad for her, which is why it kills me to see her give so much of herself to him:(. She says she feels bad for him and hangs out with because hes lonely and is sad cause his GF broke up with him....4 years ago!!!! Damn dude get over it already and get out there and find a new one. thing is, he has no respect for women and every woman in this lil town knows it, which is why he lost his GF in the 1st place. I dont mean to sound harsh but its true ive seen it with my own eyes and heard it from more than a couple girls mouths that hes a total jerk ,yet he plays the victim role to get sympathy from anyone wholl listen, mainly his sister which is the only one he knows who hasnt had enough of his crap. I know blood is blood but I dont think its my GFs obligation to be his surrogate GF whenever he throws one of his pitty partys. What good does that do him anyway? He needs a heavy dose of reality to change his life, not a buncha BS about how he such a good guy and its everyone eles fault hes unhappy. Id like to give it to him but Im afraid shed take his side as I think she takes me for granted a little, since I am the exact opposite of her brother and her EX. I treat her like gold. That hurts me and I question her loyalty, even though she says she puts no one ahead of me but Im not so sure. I know to some it may sound like like maybe Im jealous, and maybe on some level I am jealous of that kind of unconditional love, but I really dont mind her spending time with family, even him. I just wish she would stick up for herself, or at least let me do it, instead of pandering to him and others that mistreat her and dont deserve it. I know it bothers her too as I can see the hurt in her eyes when he belittles her:( shes even told me it bothers her, I just dont know why she puts up with it, or why this jerk is so important to her when she has 2 other brothers who are much nicer .:scratchhead:

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979