marriage help stay for the kids?

hi there i am new to this site but i really need advice. i have been with my partner for 13 yrs we have 3 boys, 14,14 and 9 yrs old. my husband is so stubborn and he has so many issues that i am sick of ignoring.. i want to split but feel i cant because of my kids. i feel that i am independant and dont need to be with someone but my kids love my husband although he spends little time with them, doesnt play and has little in common. My 9 yr old is his biological son and he has similar behaviours and thinks the world of his dad. We have a big mortgage and the house we live in is perfect for our kids. I dont want to leave the house as i dont want to unsettle them. My marriage is not good, were not intimate and we rarely talk, if we do its because i have forced myself to make the effort in a struggle to make things work. i work full time and my husband is self employed, we are always struggling with money because he struggles with work. I feel let down all the time. He doesnt seem bothered that i borrow money from my family all the time, i mean literally for food and petrol. I feel angry that i have to do this, if it wasnt for the kids i would go without. I dont think its fair they struggle because of my husbands choice in career. I cant talk to him about our problems because he gets angry, i have suggested we may need to sell the house and he just shouts. I am on his case but if i dont he just seems happy to be at home. He is not trying hard to find work and he thinks its all going to fall on his lap. Im 31 yrs old and feel my lovelife is finished, i feel let down all the time, my husband falls asleep on sofa every day between 6-7pm sometimes earlier and he doesnt come to bed untill 3-4am, waking me up which annoys me as i have work and most of the time he doesnt. I feel he doesnt care how fed up, stressed and lonely i feel. He says he wants us to stay together but thats about all he says. Im so angry because i feel as soon as the boys are old enough im just going to leave, then i will be older and single. Although my husband is crap i worry he will be on his own and he is 15 yrs older than me. I dont want him to be lonely but i just dont want to be with him for the rest of my life Am i being unfair or shall i do something about this??????? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx please comment

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