After 23 years of marriage - with a lot of GOODS as well as not-so-goods - I guess I finally reached my breaking point. We have not had but maybe a weekend here and there since the first of the year where we haven't had a blow-up. It's just gotten to where I don't care anymore. I'm not blaming him, nor am I putting all of the blame on me, either. The LD thing is really what was behind it all to begin with, but I find it spilling more and more into other aspects of our R (ripple effect, I guess)...........he says I don't want to do anything with him anymore which he is probably correct, because I have so much resentment built up over the other stuff. We both wind up yelling and can't see each others' points of view and just are getting further and further off the path. I have been seeing a counselor, he agreed to go and we've only had one appointment together so far, but I thought were headed in the right direction. I can't believe I said it, but I finally told him I had had enough. I'm a mix of emotions right now- mad, sad, TERRIFIED...........I still love him, but just don't think I can take going on like that week after week. We had reached a compromise of 1x a week, though it always seemed so obligatory to him. I just got tired of always feeling like I was another chore to him. He really let me have it as he stormed out today............told me I wanted a dog to follow me around and do what I wanted it to on demand and 'good luck finding somebody to do that'..................I swear, I don't think I was asking for the moon. To be loved in 'that' way, to have physical contact because the other person WANTS it.........and to be made to feel like there is something wrong with me :(((( I don't even know what to feel anymore..............and don't even know why I am writing this. I am just a non-functional mess right now and need to get it out and I guess hear from somebody that I will be o.k. and t hat there isn't something 'wrong' with me :(((((
Sunshine
PS - forgot to say - we had a good couple of years when he agreed to get his T checked and it was determined he was low. He quit taking the shots because he got tired of going every week and since then, things changed. He swears that I am making it up in my mind that it is the shots and that I am clinging on to the belief that things have changed since he stopped when it's untrue. Honestly, I do feel like that is a big part of it, but yet that topic is OFF LIMITS. Can't mention the shots without him blowing up even worse. Forgot to mention that above, but it is important to the big picture of my story.
Sunshine
PS - forgot to say - we had a good couple of years when he agreed to get his T checked and it was determined he was low. He quit taking the shots because he got tired of going every week and since then, things changed. He swears that I am making it up in my mind that it is the shots and that I am clinging on to the belief that things have changed since he stopped when it's untrue. Honestly, I do feel like that is a big part of it, but yet that topic is OFF LIMITS. Can't mention the shots without him blowing up even worse. Forgot to mention that above, but it is important to the big picture of my story.
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